


Abby Saves the Day

by kimiobsessed



Series: Carol: Abby Saves the Day Series [1]
Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/F, Post-Oak Room, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:27:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 24,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27126514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimiobsessed/pseuds/kimiobsessed
Summary: Therese doesn't show up to the Oak RoomCarol gets REALLY drunk.  Abby gets them all back on track.
Relationships: Carol Aird & Therese Belivet, Carol Aird/Therese Belivet
Series: Carol: Abby Saves the Day Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1989511
Comments: 77
Kudos: 97





	1. Numb

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my second attempt at a published fanfic. I've written a lot, but I've never really braved the web with them. Please be gentle! 
> 
> I've read a LOT of Carol fics, but not all of them, so I apologize in advance if anything seems familiar. It is entirely unintentional. I wrote the majority of this out by hand today. This is based mostly on the movie, which I assume you've seen or you wouldn't be here. 
> 
> Also, I am my own editor, so forgive any typos.

Carol sat with her friends, poised, proper, and smiling at their jokes and stories. It was all a façade, as inside she felt herself crumbling. Every time she glanced up, hoping to see the brunette walk into the room, another brick fell. She was on her second post dinner drink as her mind drifted to her earlier encounter with Therese. She had not said anything in response. ‘I told her I loved her, and she just stared at me…stared through me,’ Carol thought.

Carol ordered another drink, now only half keeping up with the conversation at the table. Her friends must think her terrible company tonight. ‘I should excuse myself and go home, but home to what? That empty apartment? No Rindy, No Therese…just emptiness.’ The alcohol was making her thoughts go dark, even as her body started to feel numb. Numb was good. If only she could shut off the internal monologue in her mind, chastising her for all the things she SHOULD have said. Maybe one more drink? 

As she walked out of the building, weaving slightly towards the taxi-stand, she felt a hand on her elbow. “Are you okay, Carol? I don’t think you should drive.” Her friend Tom had never seen Carol drink this much. “We could drop you off." He gestured over the his wife Sarah and their friend Paul.

“Don’t be silly, Tom. I’m fine.” Was she slurring her words? “I’ll take a taxi back home. Please don’t worry. Give my best to your wife and I’ll see you both soon.” Carol kissed him on the cheek and waved across the lobby to the others. 

Tom watched as Carol was helped into a waiting taxi. Something was definitely off, and he knew just who to call. He walked over to his wife. “Well that was odd!” She whispered. “I’ve never seen that side of Carol. Do you think it’s the divorce? I mean I guess that would leave anyone out of sorts, but really, Tom, I don’t think she’s okay.” Paul only nodded in agreement. 

“I agree honey. Tell you what, I need to make a quick call. Why don’t you have the valet pull our car around.” Sarah nodded and as she and Paul went to get the car, Tom walked over to the pay phone. ‘Abby will know what to do’, he thought.


	2. Drowning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Way down we go...

It was just after 11 when Carol slid into the taxi. She rattled off her address to the driver who gave her a sideways glance. “You alright, miss?”

“I’m fine." Carol replied. "Madison Ave, please.” 

There was barely any traffic this late and she knew she’d be safe and sound in her apartment by 11:30. Safe…and alone. The berating monologue started again. ‘Why didn’t you tell her to wait? Why didn’t you explain everything? You foolish woman, all you said was she looked fine and oh, move in with me because I love you! Why didn’t you beg for forgiveness?’ It was a loop in her brain, over and over. She really needed to quiet her mind. 

As she stumbled into the dark and empty apartment, Carol made her way immediately to the liquor cabinet in the living room, weaving and tripping over her own feet as she walked. She filled the glass to the top as she thought, ‘just one more before bed and then I’ll be able to sleep.’

Was it one more drink? Was it two? She lost count as she desperately tried to shut up the voice in her head. There was a noise in the background, was it ringing? What is that banging sound? Her limbs felt heavy as she laid on the sofa, unable to get up and investigate the source of the sounds. Was that a siren? Voices? Why were there people talking in her apartment? Why did it seem so noisy all of a sudden? “Therese?” Carol tried to speak. “Come ba…” were the last words she slurred to the noisy voices in the background, right before she blacked out.


	3. Foggy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hospital

There was a pounding sensation in her head…or did someone have her head in a vice grip? Her throat was sore, and her mouth was a dry as the desert. Her arms hurt and her stomach felt raw. Had she thrown-up? And what was that infernal beeping sound and that god-awful smell!

Carol struggled to open her eyes, but the room was so bright it made the pounding in her head worse. She winced as she squeezed them shut. ‘Wait…this isn’t my bed,’ she thought. In a panic, Carol forced her eyes open, the light searing! The walls were a mint green and she looked around at the unfamiliar room. She tried to move but felt something tug at her arm.

“Oh good! You’re awake!” The cheery voice was too loud. “How are you feeling Mrs. Aird?” Across the room she saw the blurry image of the strange voice, dressed all in white.

“Please don’t call me that.” Her voice was cracking and croaky. “Where am I?”

“Mt. Sinai Hospital, Mrs. Ai….ma’am, sorry…what would you like to be called?"

“Call me Carol. How did I get here?” She was confused. She remembered sitting at the dinner table with Tom, Sarah, and Paul. When did she leave the restaurant? Was she in some sort of accident? 

“I’ll go get the doctor and he can explain everything. There is also a rather anxious young woman in the waiting room. Do you feel up for a visitor?

It was impossible to think clearly with the pounding still in her head. “Can I have some water?” Wait…young woman? Could it be Therese? Had she shown up after all? “And yes, she can come in.” 

The nurse passed Carol a small glass of water and exited the room.

‘I must look a fright! She can’t see me like this!’ Carol thought as she tried to smooth her messed hair. The sound of the heels clicking down the hallway brought Carol’s attempts to fix herself to a halt. That wasn’t Therese’s walk…it was…

“You absolute fucking nitwit!” Abby shouted across the room.

“Ma’am! This is a hospital! Please watch your language and whisper!” The nurse scolded her. 

Abby gave her a deadly stare and then stepped closer to Carol’s hospital bed. She bent down to whisper, “Do you have ANY idea how worried I’ve been? What in the hell were you thinking?”

Carol winced and slowly tried to sit up. Everything still hurt. Abby reached to help her and adjusted the pillows for her oldest and dearest…and apparently dumbest friend. 

“Abby, I don’t even know what happened. How did I get here from the restaurant?” 

Abby let out a heavy sigh, “you don’t remember anything?” Carol shook her head and closed her eyes as a wave a nausea washed over her. She’d kill for a cigarette right now. 

Abby pulled a small uncomfortable chair over to the bedside. “Tom called me after you left the restaurant, drunk off you ass apparently. He wanted me to check on you, because clearly this was not like you at all. So I called and you didn’t answer…and I called again…and by one in the morning I was worried sick, so I drove to your apartment.”

“From New Jersey that late at night? Abby you shouldn’t have!” Carol said worriedly. 

“You need to be grateful I did. I pounded on the door and you still wouldn’t answer. I finally had to go downstairs and get the doorman to call the building super to open it, he wasn’t happy, but it was either that or I was going to breaking down your fucking door. I found you on the floor in your living room. You were mumbling something about Therese, but I couldn’t get you to wake up. We called an ambulance and they brought you here.” Abby’s lip quivered a little as she recalled the night. “I thought I was going to lose you.”

Carol stared straight ahead, “I don’t know what to say.” 

“You can tell me what the hell happened that would cause you to nearly give yourself alcohol poisoning!”

Just then the doctor strolled in with his clip board. “Well good morning, Mrs. Aird.”

Carol pinched the bridge of her nose. “Please don’t call me that.”

Ignoring her request, the doctor continued, “We had quite the night, didn’t we Mrs. Aird? Do you remember how you got here?”

“We? And its Carol, not Mrs. Aird, please.” She replied in a polite and yet clearly annoyed tone. “I don’t remember anything.”

“That is to be expected, Mrs. Aird. You drank yourself into quite a pickle!” He smiled, waiting for anyone to laugh at his bad joke. No one did. “Anyway, we’ve given you fluids and you did vomit a bit, but we seem to have that under control as well. You should be able to go home later today if there are no complications. I have requested that the hospital psychiatrist come down and clear you first, as well. Do you have any questions, Mrs. Aird?”

“My name is Carol. And why do I need to speak with a psychiatrist?” Carol was angry now. Abby started to feel sorry for the poor doctor. 

“I’m afraid I must insist, Mrs…Ma’am. No one who drinks that much is…well clearly there are some problems you need to work out. Once the psychiatrist has cleared you and we know you are no longer a danger to yourself, you can be discharged. Oh, and we did call your husband. He’ll be here later this afternoon to take you home if everything works out.”

“You did what!” Carol shouted sitting up and ignoring the searing pain in her head. “My EX husband will NOT be taking anywhere! I will take myself, home, Thank you very much!”

The Doctor stepped back, shocked by the venom in his patient’s voice. “Please calm down, Mrs. Aird. It is simply hospital policy. You must be released into the care of a family member. Is there someone else we can call?”

Carol huffed, frustrated and irate. “Abby can take me home. She is my family.” 

The doctor tried to argue but saw in her face that it was pointless. “Ok ma’am. We’ll get you out of here just as soon as you are cleared by psych.” 

“Well…that’s that,” Carol said as the doctor scurried out. Carol was so annoyed she could have thrown something. “Abby, I’ve had enough psychotherapists! Get me the hell out of here.”

Abby shook her head, “Carol, I love you. But I found you passed out on your living room floor, an empty bottle of rye by your head. You could have died! Tell me what happened because I am worried about you!”

Carol fell back onto her pillow. This part she did remember, unfortunately. She slowly filled Abby in on the conversation at The Ritz and the stupid boy who interrupted…and the silence that followed. "She didn't say anything, Abby. Nothing at all. She just walked away to go to a party, like it was nothing."


	4. Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carol meets her new psychiatrist.

“You told her you loved her?” Abby whispered, staring at the floor. She tried to hide the hurt and jealousy, but Carol took notice. 

A tear floated down Carol's cheek. Even after all these years, she could still feel the sting of guilt for ever hurting Abby. “You know I love you, Abby. You are my dearest friend, and I will always love you, but we were not meant to be.” She reached out and took Abby’s hand. “But, the feelings I have for Therese, the feelings I have for her…” she trailed off, not wanting to cause Abby any more pain. “Oh, what does it matter. I’ve lost it all, Abby. I’ve lost Rindy, and now I’ve lost that love.”

Abby felt a stab in her heart with that last statement, but pushed it aside. She would always be strong for Carol. “Don’t think like that. Maybe she just needs more time. She’d be crazy not to love you.” Abby smiled weakly.

Carol gave Abby a sympathetic look and squeezed her hand. There was a knock on the hospital room door. “Excuse me, Mrs. Aird?”

Carol let out a deep frustrated sigh. "My name is Carol." 

“I’m sorry if I am interrupting. I am Dr. Green. I was scheduled to come later this afternoon, but I had a cancellation and thought I’d come by and see if you were up for speaking now.” The brunette in her late 40’s, with glasses, entered the room. She shook Abby’s hand and then turned to Carol. “I can come back later, if this isn’t a good time.”

Carol sat there with her mouth agape. A female psychotherapist? 

Abby stood to go, but not without noticing the beautiful brunette. “I should go. I actually have a few things to take care of before you get released later. So, I will just leave you two to it!” 

Carol looked at her questioningly and then broke into a smile when she realized Abby was blushing. Perhaps there might be hope for Abby yet, she thought. 

“Well first I need to go call that brute of an ex-husband of yours and tell him where to go," Abby stated firmly. 

Carol laughed. As hard as it was on her sometimes, Abby was always her biggest source of support. She’d be lost without her. Abby kissed Carol on the cheek and left her alone with the beautiful lady doctor. "Might have to sign up for therapy myself'" she whispered into Carol's ear. Carol smacked Abby's arm, "Go!"

The doctor sat in the chair vacated by Abby. “So, Carol, can you tell me how you wound up here today?”

Carol stared for a moment, taking in the woman in front of her. Medium length brown hair, glasses on a string, cardigan sweater. She looked a lot like a sexy librarian. “I’m sorry, I’ve never met a female psychotherapist before. I guess I'm just a little taken surprised.”

“I’m not a psychotherapist. I am a psychiatrist," Dr. Green corrected. "I have an actual medical degree. There aren’t many of us, to be sure. Now, enough about me, tell me about you. Why are you here?”

“I don’t really remember.” Carol said honestly. “They said I drank too much. This is all quite embarrassing.” 

Dr. Green nodded, “I see. You know, I find alcohol to be a common coping mechanism for emotional trauma. Can you tell me, has something happened recently?”

Ordinarily, Carol would have shut herself off and answered the therapist with only one-word answers. In all the months she had been forced to meet with the therapists that the Aird family had personally chosen, she revealed very little about herself. But now for some reason, Carol found herself feeling quite comfortable with Dr. Green. Maybe it was because she was a woman. So, Carol explained about the divorce and losing Rindy, but weary of the inevitable judgements, she stopped before saying anything about Therese. 

“Your divorce was finalized earlier this month?” Dr. Green questioned as she took some notes. 

“Yes.”

“Were you sad to separate from your husband?’ She pressed.

“Not at all! But losing my daughter is another story.” Carol couldn’t stop herself as the tears welled up in her eyes. 

“Carol, I must say, it is highly unusual for a child to be taken from their mother without some just cause. I have to wonder what you aren’t telling me.”

Carol shifted uncomfortably in the bed. ‘Here we go again,’ she thought. ‘Here we go with the judgement and the mental illness and sickness garbage.’

“Is it the drinking? Is that why you lost your daughter?” Dr. Green asked.

Carol shook her head.

“Were you ever violent towards your daughter?”

“Absolutely not!” Carol said offended.

“Then what is it? Because there has to be something.”

Carol slumped a bit and then sat back up as straight as she could manage. She would not be made to feel ashamed again. “I had an affair.”

Dr. Green took her glasses off let them hang from her neck. “Carol, while definitely an issue, having an affair shouldn’t be grounds to take your child away.”

“With a woman,” Carol added quickly and waited for the inevitable bullshit.

“Ah,” The doctor scribbled something down on her pad and set her pen down.

“This is the part where you tell me how abhorrent I am and how I’m mentally ill and need conversion therapy and that you can fix me.” Carol laid back gruffly, crossing her arms in front of her. 

“I’m sorry, why would I tell you that?” Dr. Green asked.

Carol was shocked. “All the other therapists have. They preached of morality and biology and nature. About how having feelings for a woman was sick and I could be cured.” Carol dropped her crossed arms to her side, feeling a bit more relaxed. 

Dr. Green smiled gently and leaned forward dropping her voice a bit, “You know it is more common than you might think.”

“What? Curing someone’s sexual proclivities?”

“No, I mean, homosexuality is more common than you may think. In fact, I have a colleague who is about to publish a study on human sexuality. It might help to change some opinions; open some minds you might say.” 

Carol’s voice dropped to a near whisper. “You don’t think it’s wrong?”

“Not at all. In fact, I think one day we will come to understand that it is just as normal as heterosexuality. We can no more control who we are attracted to than we can control who we are born too.”

Carol was dumbfounded. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Well you can tell me more about his woman. Was that her with you here just before I came in?”

“Abby? No…no…although we did have a fling once.”

“A fling?” the doctor prodded. 

“We’ve been friends since we were children. It was a few years ago and it just sort of happened. She was actually my first. But I was married and there was Rindy and it just didn’t feel…I mean, I never felt…I don’t know. I loved her, and I will always love her, but I wasn’t IN love with her. Does that make sense? It was good for a while and it definitely opened my eyes to a whole new world and realizations about myself, but it just wasn’t meant to be,” Carol confessed. 

“And this time? Your affair?”

“Therese. Her name is Therese.” The tears were welling up again.

“You said is, Carol, are you still involved with her?”

Carol looked down and withdrew into that dark place in her mind. 

“I see,” said Dr. Green. “How did it end?”

Carol let out a sob, “I ended it. I didn’t have a choice.” Carol went on the explain the trip over Christmas and the detective and the tapes. The whole story came pouring out, all the way up to the Ritz the night before and her desperation to get Therese back.

Dr. Green sat back in her chair and thought carefully for a moment. “Carol, I need to ask you a question. What made Therese different? I mean it seems to me you only knew each other a short period of time.”

“I remember the day I saw her, the spark in my heart at that toy counter. And then how nervous I was at lunch…it was like she just had this effect on me. I couldn’t understand why, but I was so taken by her. I just had to be close to her. And the trip...well, you really get to know someone when you spend hours in a car together. We talked about everything, our lives, our dreams, everything…and then nothing. We could just sit together in silence and feel totally at peace. And that night, New Year’s Eve, when we kissed for the first time…I knew. I knew that we were meant to be together. I can’t explain it, I just felt something that I had never felt before. And I woke up feeling peaceful and oh so happy!” Carol smiled at the memory and then her face fell. “And then the world fell apart. Harge and that goddamned detective.” Carol spat.

Dr. Green listened carefully and then looked down at her watch. “Well, I feel like we have much more to talk about, but I’m afraid I’m out of time for today. So, here is what I am going to recommend. I will agree to discharge you today as I do not feel that you are a danger to yourself, with one condition. You have to agree to a few follow up appointments.”

Carol shook her head. While she had indeed felt comfortable with Dr. Green, she didn’t see the need. “I’m not crazy.”

The doctor let out a laugh. “I never said you were! But I do believe you need to work on some healthier coping skills, aside from alcohol. And you need to face the very real possibility that Therese is not going to come back. I don’t want you to end up back here.”

“No, I suppose not.” Carol thought to herself for a moment. It had been nice having someone to talk too. As much as she loved and knew she could confide in Abby, it was hard watching her hurt every time she mentioned her feelings for Therese. “Okay, I agree.”

“Good!” Dr. Green said as she stood and stretch a bit. “I will have my secretary set up your appointments and have them with your discharge papers.”  
She took Carols hand and gave it a squeeze. “I look forward to seeing you soon, Carol.”


	5. Angry Abby part one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, thank you all for the kind and supportive comments and Kudos. 
> 
> Second...does anyone really know how to spell "Hartches Aird?" I mean...what kind of name is that?

Abby walked out of Carol’s hospital room leaving her with the lady doctor. She walked past the nurse’s station and to the elevators. She pressed the down button and headed to the lobby where she remembered seeing a row of pay phones. She dialed the number, already dreading the sound of the voice that would answer on the other end. 

“Hargess Aird, Hello.”

“It’s Abby.” She replied, simply.

There was a long pause, and she could hear him breathing. Were all men this annoying or was it just him? “Abby, of course. Look, I already know about Carol and I will pick her up later this evening.”

“That is why I called,” Abby stated. “She doesn’t want you to come here, so I was calling to let you know that I will make sure she gets back to her apartment safely this afternoon.”

“You know, Abby, I am still considered her next of kin and I am the father or our child. I DO still care about Carol a great deal, despite what you may think. I still love her and I think...” 

“No one care what you think Harge. And we can analyze your so-called version of love at a later date, what I called to tell you…”

He interrupted her, “What do you mean MY version of love! You’re one to talk about loving Carol, Abby.”

“Oh, shut the hell up!” Abby yelled in the phone. “You wouldn’t know real love if it fell on your head. Real love isn’t hiring detectives! Real love isn’t blackmailing people! And real love isn’t stealing someone’s child!”

“I didn’t steal…”

“Keep telling yourself that, Harge. Now, I will be taking Carol home from the hospital. She doesn’t want or need you around right now. However, if you happen to find some semblance of decency in your cold, little heart, I am sure an unsupervised visit with her daughter, very SOON, would be very good for Carol!” And with that Abby slammed the phone down. 

She turned from the payphone to see a lobby of people staring at her. “What?” She cried out to the strangers. Abby was angry now, and she had one more person to deal with.


	6. Angry Abby part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's always Abby...and she's on a mission.

The apartment buzzer rang for a third time. Therese resigned herself to the fact that whoever was downstairs was not going away. She was torn. A part of her wanted it to be Carol and yet, another part of her did not. She slowly made her way down the apartment stairs to the front door but stopped before opening.

Abby…of course she would send Abby. Some things never change. 

“Why are you here?” Therese asked as she opened the door.

“Well hello to you, too, kid. Can I come in? Or shall we discuss our personal lives on the front stoop?” Abby started to push her way in the apartment corridor as Therese was pushed backwards. Therese sighed, realizing that there would be no stopping Abby. She led her up the stairs to her apartment.

“Well this is cozy,” Abby attempted at small talk. “I like the color.”

“I don’t know why she sent you, Abby, but…”

“Oh, she didn’t send me, Therese. In fact, she would probably kill me if she knew I was here, so let’s make this fast.”

“Well then why did you come?” Therese questioned.

Even though Abby had tried to calm herself down on the drive over from the hospital and after the phone call with Harge, she was still angry. “I came to tell you what a fucking fool you are!”

Therese stepped back as if the words had physically hit her, but she did not reply.

“Carol is in the hospital. She drank herself stupid last night, and it’s all because you shattered her!” She wasn’t yelling, but it was clear that Abby was upset.

Therese glared at her and squinted her eyes, feeling the anger rise in her. “Carol is shattered?" Therese started to walk around the room, anger and anxiety building in her. "Do you remember driving me home from Chicago, Abby?” Her voice rising with each statement, getting louder and louder. “I’m just supposed to forget that she abandoned me. That she left me alone, in a hotel room…with YOU? And then she just cut me out! Wouldn’t even speak to me…but Carol is shattered? You saw me Abby! I WAS SHATTERED! And now what? It’s all water under the bridge? She waltzes back in; says she loves me, and all is forgiven?” The anger and frustration that Therese had been holding on to for months came pouring out. 

Abby took a minute to calm down before answering her. She turned and walked over to the small sofa taking a seat. She lowered her voice, “Kid…listen.”  
“I’m not a child, Abby. I may only be 22, but I am NOT a kid.” Therese corrected her. 

“Fine, you aren't a kid, but you are younger than us so I need you to listen. I have known Carol for most of my life. I have seen her struggle through family issues, marital problems, our…whatever you want to call it, together. But in every struggle, in every fight, Carol kept herself together. She always keeps it together. But the past few months, Therese, she’s lost herself. I saw it when she called from Waterloo and then in Chicago, she started to fall apart. Letting you go, leaving you in that hotel room, and then losing Rindy…she’s tried so hard, but she can't keep it together. I don’t know that she can survive this.”

Therese needed a moment to think of how to reply. “I…uh…would you like a drink?” She turned and walked into the small kitchen and returned with two glasses of water. 

Abby accepted it but sat the glass down on a small side table. “Therese, I know what happened last night. How could you just walk away like that?”

Therese shook her head, as she sat on the sofa next to Abby. “I didn’t walk away. She did.”

Abby look at Therese with a confused expression. “What do you mean 'she did'? She said you were interrupted but that you never said anything. Something about a party and then you left.”

“Carol left. She didn’t give me a chance to say anything. Yes, Jack interrupted, but she I think...I thought she just used that as her moment to escape. I guess I just assumed she didn’t mean it or regretted saying it. It felt like Chicago all over again.” 

Abby thought for a second. Typical Carol. Drop a bombshell and then run for cover. “Did Carol tell you what happened with the lawyers?” Abby asked.

Therese shook her head, “Just that Harge has Rindy.”

“She gave up, Therese. She stopped fighting and gave up her rights for Rindy because she knew that she wanted…no…NEEDED you. She loves you.”

Therese shook her head again, “No…I would never ask her to give up her child.”

“You didn’t ask, hon. She told me she saw you, walking across the street, the day she was on her way to the lawyers office to finalize everything. She was going to give in, maybe even call off the divorce, who knows. But she saw you and she remembered who she was and what she wanted. She realized that she needs YOU to be happy. She needs you to be strong. Just the idea that the two of you could have a life, that gave her the strength that she needed in that office to stand up for herself. She’ll never truly give up on Rindy…but she realized that she had to fight for herself, too.”

Therese was silent. 

Abby looked down. “Do you know what I would give to have her love me like that?” It was hard admitting that to someone else, let alone the woman who had won Carol’s heart. “In our short time together, she never told me that she loved me, not like that, anyway. She doesn’t say it lightly, you know. If she told you she loves you, she LOVES you.”

“But how can I be sure that she won’t leave again?” Therese asked, fear in her voice.

“You can never really be sure of anything, can you? But that’s love…it’s falling…it’s risking everything. And she is so worth the risk, Therese.”

Therese sat back and pondered everything Abby had said. “I think..." Therese paused. "I just need time to think. There was this girl at the party last night…I think she liked me, but…”

“But she wasn’t Carol,” Abby offered, taking Therese’s hand in her own. “Believe me, I understand. Look, I KNOW she hurt you and you have every right to feel angry. But you're right, you aren't a kid, you know WHY she had to go that night, why she had to try to fight for Rindy. But now she’s here and she’s asking you to create a life WITH her. She is risking it all…for you.”

“I love her, too and I always will, but I can’t get hurt like that again. I wouldn’t survive.” 

“And she won’t survive without you. This much I know, if you walk away for good, if you deny this love, you will regret it for the rest of your life.” Things were feeling emotionally heavy, and Abby started to feel awkward, “And you’re young, so that is a long time!” Abby joked, trying to lighten the mood. “So, don’t be a stoop! Go get your girl!”


	7. Going home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm rushing to get this chapter out before I have to teach my next class. Hope there aren't too many mistakes! 
> 
> Again, thanks for all the love and kudos!

Carol was dressed and sitting on her hospital bed. It was after 4 pm and she was anxious to leave the dreadful hospital room. Where the hell was Abby? ‘If she doesn’t walk through that door in the next five minutes, I swear I will jump out that window.’ she thought. Just then, she heard the heels walking down the linoleum in the hall, ‘finally!’ She stood and turned to pick up her purse, only to realize she didn’t have it or the keys to her apartment. She turned back around, “Abby…do you have the ke…” She gasped.

“Carol,” Therese said quietly. 

Carol just stared at her; mouth opened in surprise. “How did you…why are you?” Confusion covered her face. 

“Abby.” Therese answered simply. “Abby sent me to get you and take you home. Are you ready?”

‘Of course she did’, Carol thought. Abby, the constant meddler, the superhero, always trying to fix everything. “I appreciate that, Therese, but you really don’t need to do this. I know being around me is difficult, so I can just call for a taxi," carol offered. 

“WE will get a taxi. I have your keys.” Therese walked over and took Carol’s hand in hers. There was an instant heat that was exchanged between them. “Shall we?” 

Carol looked her deep in the eyes, unsure of what to make of all of this. Was this really happening? Was it a dream? She followed as Therese led them out of the room. They let go of each other’s hands as they walked silently down the hall, down the elevator, and out the front door to hail a taxi. In the taxi, Therese kept her eyes out the window and Carol just stared forward, afraid to move, afraid to break the spell of the moment. ‘Maybe this is just a test,” she thought. ‘Abby wants to see if I’ll drink again. No, she wouldn’t be that cruel, would she?’

They pulled up to the Madison Avenue apartment building. Therese paid the driver and then moved to help Carol out of the door. “I’m fine, Therese. I’m not an invalid.” There was a little bitterness in her voice. “I just drank a little too much. It will not happen again.”

Therese was all to familiar with Carol’s mood swings by now. She could tell she was embarrassed and scared, and that fear was driving her to get defensive. She just needed to get her up to the apartment. “I know,” was all she offered in reply. 

Carol watched as Therese led the way in, holding doors and such. She seemed so sure of herself, like she’d been here a million times before. It reminded her of that first night at the Drake hotel in Chicago. She had walked into that building all confident and proud and then again at dinner that night. She looked much the same now. When Therese clicked the button for the 6th floor on the elevator, Carol realized Abby must have given her the apartment number and directions when she gave her the keys. 

“You know,” Carol said as the elevator opened, “I really am okay. I’m sure you have other things to do that don’t involve escorting me to my door.” 

Therese ignored her as she walked down the corridor to Carol’s apartment door. She turned the key and opened it, holding it open for Carol. “Actually, I have quite a lot to do this weekend.”

Carol nodded, “I understand.” She walked in and took a quick survey of the living room. It was as if nothing had happened. There was no sign of a spilled drink, or anything that would give a hint as to the night before. “Well, thank you for seeing me, home. It was very nice of you, after everything.”

“Don’t say that.” Therese replied.

Carol paused, and then tried to speed up Therese's inevitable departure. “I’m sure I look an absolute fright. I should really get all cleaned up.” 

“Actually, you look beautiful, considering. I always liked you without make-up.” Therese had no plans on being rushed out of the apartment. “So why don’t you go get cleaned up and I’ll make us something for dinner.”

‘What was happening?’ Carol thought. ‘She called me beautiful, she’s not leaving, she said us.’ Carol was frozen. She felt like an animal caught in the headlights of a car. She was afraid if she moved, the dream would end. Therese would leave and she’d once again be alone in the apartment. 

“What would you like?” Therese asked.

Carol just stared. “Like?” she asked carefully.

“For dinner. What would you like?”

Carol had to sit down. The room was spinning. She walked over to the oversized grey sofa in the middle of the living room. 

Therese came to sit next to her, worried, as Carol was looking very pale. “I know we need to talk, but I feel like you really need to eat first.”

“Talk?” Carol asked. She was terrified now.

“I never had a chance to respond last night. Jack interrupted and I could have punched him, by the way, and I had that stupid party to go too, and I really did need to make an appearance. But I did have things to say, Carol. I kept thinking about it, over and over. And even when Genevieve…” Therese was talking very quickly, but Carol did pick up on one part. 

“Genevieve?” Carol’s already unsteady heart dropped to the floor of her stomach. 

“This woman at the party that made a pass at me.” Therese started to explain. 

Carol stood up suddenly, her face had gone from pale to red. “I see.” 

There it was again. The famous Carol mood swing. Therese couldn’t help but smirk at the sudden onset of jealousy coming from Carol. “Anyway,” Therese continued, “I left the party and I thought about meeting you at the restaurant. But I just couldn’t.”

Carol felt a tear spill from her blue-grey eyes. Here is comes, the final moment. The end. Carol found herself suddenly grateful for that new psychiatrist; she was going to need all the help she could get to survive losing Therese for good. 

“I just couldn’t have this conversation in front of strangers, Carol. I couldn’t tell you that I love you in front of other people, not like that.” 

Carol spun around and lost her balance. Therese was up with arms wrapped around her waist in less than a second, leading her back to sit on the couch. Carol felt the wave building and doubled over, tears pouring out. Therese moved closer to comfort her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I’m saying I love you, too, Carol, I do…but…”

“Oh God please,” Carol begged. “Don’t tell me it’s too late.”

“I can’t move in with you. Not yet.” Therese explained. “I love you, but I need to learn to trust you again.”  
Carol sat up and nodded furiously, wiping at the tears strewn down her face. “But...you love me?”

“I do.” Therese nodded and smiled.


	8. Picking up the Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to start rebuilding...

Therese looked around the room, spying a clock on a bookshelf. “Oh, it’s already 6pm. I know you must be hungry.”

“I could eat,” she answered. 

“Why don’t you go take a hot bath and I will go find us some dinner. What do you say to some soup?” Therese offered.

“Soup sounds perfect. My stomach is still a little sore from whatever they did to me at the hospital. And I really do need to soak in the tub. I’m sure I smell like that damned hospital. Not too attractive, I’m sure.” Carol paused for a moment, “But I don’t want to keep you, Therese. You said you had a busy weekend.” 

Therese giggled, “A busy weekend with you, Carol. I knew that I would be here taking care of you.”

“Oh,” Carol mouthed. 

“We have a lot to talk about still, things to work through. We can do that while I make sure you are healthy. Besides, Abby will absolutely kill me if I leave you alone. In fact, my suitcase is already over there behind the piano. We dropped it off earlier, and cleaned up a bit before she dropped me off at the hospital.” Therese smiled. 

Carol smiled back, realizing she was right about it seeming as if Therese had been there before. “So does that mean you are planning on sleeping over?” She really did not want to get her hopes up, but just the idea of sleeping with Therese was sending jolts of electricity through her body. "Would you? Sleep over?" 

“Yes, if that is okay with you. But I’ll sleep on the sofa.” 

Carol couldn’t help but feel the disappointment wash through her. “You will do no such thing,” she countered. “There is a spare bedroom, though it isn’t decorated. I wasn’t sure if it would be a bedroom or a…” carol stopped herself from finishing. 

“Or a what?” Therese asked. “What else would you do with it?”

“I had thought it might work as a darkroom…you know…if you needed it.” Carol’s voice had dropped to something barely audible. 

Therese shifted a little uncomfortably on the sofa. 

“I’m not pushing, Therese.” Carol reached out and took her hand, intertwining their fingers. “I know you need time. I just wanted you to know that I meant it when I asked. It wasn’t just a whim.”

Therese squeezed Carol’s hand. “Ok, then. I’ll sleep in there.” She looked longingly into Carol’s eyes. Therese could feel the heat in her body rising. If she didn’t leave to get dinner right now, they would not be eating food. “I should go get dinner. We passed a deli on the way here. Just a few blocks down I think.”

“That would be perfect. They have amazing chicken soup. And maybe a sandwich? You know what I like.” Carol said as she stood to head to the bathroom.

Therese walked towards the door but turned when Carol called her name. 

“Thank you, Therese.” She said sincerely. 

“I’ll be back in a few. Go relax.” And with that Therese walked out the door.


	9. Power and Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my last one for today. Thank you all again for the kind words and encouragement! You know what's coming next! It might take a few days to get the next chapter up. I'm going to want it to be perfect! 
> 
> I'm exhausted, so again, forgive any typos. 
> 
> Also, I may go back and edit some previous chapters. I keep thinking of new things to add! Is that normal?

Carol enjoyed the long soak in the hot water. She felt tired muscles relax and the smell of lavender was so much better than hospital antiseptic. She dunked her head under the water and rinsed out her hair. Therese had seen her with wet hair before when they had traveled out west. She had also said she liked her without make-up, though that seem unimaginable. Carol realized she had never been so comfortable with another person before. In all their years of marriage, Harge had never seen her without her hair and make-up done. She would always wake up before him each morning and be ‘presentable’ before he got up. It was different with Abby, of course, since they had grown up together. But once they became lovers, Carol still made sure she was always looking her best, at least up until last night. Now both Abby and Therese had seen her at her lowest.

Carol closed her eyes. Her hands started to wander up and down her body. She imagined it was Therese caressing her and she felt her body respond. How in the world was she going to control herself tonight, when all she had dreamed about for months was making love to Therese? She chastised herself for the thought. As hard as it would be, she would, in fact, control herself. She would prove herself to Therese. She slowly made her way out of the tub and dried herself off. Her hands were a little pruned. How long had she been in the tub? She put on her pajama set and her robe and ran her long fingers through her wet hair. She felt relaxed and peaceful for the first time in a long time as she opened the bathroom door and strolled out to meet Therese for dinner. 

Only Therese was not there. The apartment was dark and quiet. She wandered into the kitchen but didn’t turn on the lights. There was no sign of food or Therese. Carol’s mind immediately went to a dark place. What if something had happened? What if Therese had changed her mind? ‘Should I change my clothes and go look for her?’ She thought. ‘No, she must have changed her mind…realized she couldn’t forgive me after all.’ Carol saw her purse on the table. She pulled her silver case out of her purse, took out a cigarette and lit it. She sat down at the kitchen table and took a long drag, her first since last night. She was all cried out and empty. She thought about making a drink but changed her mind. Instead she just stared out into the dark, hollow and blank, the cigarette burning in her hand. 

Suddenly, the kitchen light flicked on. “Carol? Why are you sitting here in the dark?” Therese was there, standing in the doorway. Her Angel, her light, her strength.

Carol had not even heard the front door open. She took a long shuddering breath as her eyes started to water. “I thought…you were gone for so long…I thought maybe you had…” Carol couldn’t continue, and she looked away suddenly feeling silly. 

Therese set the bags down on the table and knelt next to Carol’s knees. “There was long line. I didn’t mean to worry you." A realization dawn on her. "You thought I left you?”

Carol nodded her head but did not speak. She put out the cigarette that had barely been smoked. 

Abby was right. This was not the same self-assured Carol that Therese had met in December. It broke Therese’s heart to see her so worn down. Not broken, but no longer in control and definitely unsteady. 

Therese patted a hand on Carol's knee as she stood. “Let’s get some food into you and then I really think you need to rest.” Therese picked up the bags of food, pulling out a jar of soup and some wrapped sandwiches. She wandered around the large kitchen opening drawers and cabinets until she found bowls, glasses, and spoons. She poured them each a glass of milk.  
Carol felt all the fear slowly leave her and the darkness and emptiness passed. The soup was still warm. “This is divine,” she moaned. They sat in a comfortable silence, eating, and stealing glances at each other. 

After dinner, Therese placed their dishes in the sink. 

“Just leave them, Angel. I’ll take care of them in the morning.” Carol offered. 

Therese smiled at the nickname. “Flung out of space," she replied. Never one to leave a mess, "I’ll clean up and you go rest on the sofa. It won’t take but a minute. The nuns always said, ‘never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.’’ 

Carol laughed and smiled sweetly. “You can’t argue with nuns now, can you? Just don’t take too long.” 

Therese found some habits hard to break. Having been raised by nuns at the orphanage, she had always been one to keep her apartment clean. She washed and dried the dishes and put them all away. It only took a few minutes, but when she walked into the living room, Carol was fast asleep on the sofa. 

Not wanting to wake her up, Therese decided to take the opportunity to explore the apartment. Carol was right, it was quite large. The living room had large windows overlooking Madison Avenue. There was a wall of bookshelves, filled with books and pictures. Therese wondered if Carol had actually read all of the books, or if it was just for show. There was a large sofa with two side tables and in the corner, the piano from the old house. Therese didn’t know it, but Carol had fought tooth and nail to keep that piano. Sentimental value, she argued, though not explaining that it was because Therese liked to play the piano. 

Therese picked up her suitcase from behind the piano and walked down the hall. There were three bedrooms. She opened the first room which had clearly been decorated with Rindy in mind. There was pink, flowered wallpaper and a canopy bed. On the floor by a window was the train set she had received for Christmas. She backed out and closed the door, not wanting to disturb anything. The second room was bare. There was twin bed and a dresser, but no other decorations and only white walls. Carol was right, this could make a good darkroom if she got some black curtains. Therese set her suitcase down and turned to look at the master bedroom across the hall. It was immaculate, and very Carol. A blue and white bedspread covered the queen-sized bed. Beautiful, solid wood furniture filled the space. A dresser, two nightstands, and a sitting area with a vanity. There were pictures of Rindy framed and placed on one nightstand and the dresser. 

“Well, what do you think?” Therese jumped, startled by the deep voice behind her. 

“I thought you were asleep. I think the apartment is lovely, Carol. I really love Rindy’s room. You did an amazing job.”

A sadness crossed Carol’s face at the mention of her daughter’s name. “I know it will take time, but I do hope she will get to stay here eventually.” 

Therese shuffled her feet and looked down.

“What are you thinking?” Carol asked, reminiscent of all the times on their road trip she had asked that same question. 

“Carol, if I move in, the chances of that happening…I cannot be the reason you lose your daughter.” 

Without a second thought or any hesitation, Carol grabbed Therese’s face in her hands and kissed her firmly on the lips. It wasn’t meant to be passionate; it was only meant to relay a message. “I’ve told you before, it isn’t about you.”

Therese pulled back. “How can you say that?”

“This is about power and control, Therese. Harge has always tried to control me. So, he hurt me in the only way he could. This is a power struggle, nothing more. And when I am stronger, I will get my daughter back.” 

“So, it’s not because you love a woman?” Therese refused to believe that it had nothing to do with her.

“Well, I’m sure he isn’t happy about that either," Carol smirked, "but it isn’t the real issue. Harge’s mother has controlled his entire life. She decided where he would go to college, his occupation, and even where we would live. I mean she even picked out that damn house! You should have seen her when the war started. He was out of her reach and I thought she would lose her mind. She still controls so much of his life in a lot of ways. Those months, when I had to come back, when I had to be away from you, it was mostly a fight against her. She was trying to control me through him, and he was trying to control me to show he had some power of his own. I was always so good at standing up for myself, standing up to his mother. But they found my weakness and used it against me.” 

Therese wasn't fully convinced that it was as easy and as simple as Carol was making it out to be, but she was starting to understand. She decided to drop it for now, especially since she was suddenly hyper aware of Carol’s proximity. They were standing face-to-face in the doorway of the master bedroom. She could feel the heat rising in her core, remnants of Carol's kiss lingering on her lips. It had been so long. 

Carol could smell Therese’s shampoo and felt an increasing heat emanating from her skin. Her own desire was building as well, but she dared not move. 

“You kissed me,” Therese whispered, looking up into Carol’s blue-grey eyes. 

Carol only stared deeply into her eyes, trying to communicate her want without speaking. 

“I thought you were tired.” 

“I suddenly find myself wide awake.” Carol felt like a pool of lava was building inside of her. Her voice had dropped an octave and she leaned a tiny bit closer. An opening, should Therese choose to take it. 

Therese found herself lost in Carol’s eyes, unable to resist the pull. She looked down at Carol’s lips, and then licked her own. Before she even realized it, she was kissing Carol. Carol pulled back just enough to look deep into Therese’s eyes, looking for any signs of hesitation or doubt. She saw nothing but want and desire in those green eyes and the volcano inside Carol erupted.


	10. Hunger

Their night in Waterloo had been slow and sultry. They explored each other, learning each other’s bodies. Carol was gentle and delicate, not wanting to scare her young lover away. Therese had been nervous and unsure of herself, but Carol had been patient, teaching her exactly how to please her. Chicago on the other hand was full of desperation and longing. Carol made love to Therese with an understanding that it would also be a good-bye.

What Carol felt now, at this moment with Therese in her arms, could only be described as wicked, wanton, hunger. Desperate to feel her skin, she pushed Therese towards the bed with her body. Her hands moved in flurry of activity; up and under her shirt, bra on the floor, shoes kicked off, skirt thrown across the room. It was a sexual frenzy.

Therese had never experienced a desire so strong before. She had a dire need to be as close to Carol as possible. She tugged at the belt of the robe, soon discarded on the floor. Forgoing buttons, she pulled Carol’s pajama top up and over her head. She continued to step backwards as Carol pushed forward until the bed hit the back of her knees. Their kisses were deep, long, wet, and impassioned. Carol’s tongue was swirling and twisting around Therese’s, as she laid her back against the mattress, breasts touching, sending sparks through their bodies. Molten lava was pooling between Carol’s thighs; She was absolutely dripping now. Her pajama pants were soaked through and she used one hand to pull them off and cast them aside.

Therese reached out, no longer shy, or cautious, and took Carol’s breasts in her hands. She felt Carol’s nipples harden as she kneaded and rolled her nipples between her fingers. Carol moaned at the sensation of Therese touching her with such passion and need. There was an inferno burning between them now and Therese was sure she would be consumed by it, and she did not care. The taste of Carol’s lips and the heat radiating from her skin created a desire so immeasurable in Therese that she was sure she would orgasm before every being touched. She felt Carol’s hand move between her thighs and up to her center. “God…yes…” she moaned as her head fell back and she lifted her hips to meet Carol’s touch. 

Spurred on by the noises and movements coming from her lover and so turned on she may spontaneously combust; Carol kissed her way down Therese’s body. She stopped ever so briefly at each breast, placing a kiss, and sucking on each nipple. She kissed down her stomach, all the while her fingers moved up and down between silken wet folds. “My angel, you’re so wet,” Carol whimpered, needing to taste her. When Carol’s tongue replaced her fingers, Therese was lost to all thought. Carol’s tongue slid up and down and around Therese’s clit, as she lapped up all the sweet and salty nectar. She was absolutely feral at this point, wanting to devour every luscious inch of her. Her fingers started circling her wet pool, tongue still lavishing her sweet pussy. Therese growled as her need became more demanding. “God…Carol…please,” she begged. Carol pushed two fingers in easily as Therese gasped in pleasure. She pulled them out and pushed in deeper, moving faster with each thrust. Her tongue matching the movement of her hands as she increased the pace. She felt the heat and tension build around her fingers as Therese cried out loudly in absolute ecstasy, “I love you; I love you…Dear God, I love you!” She was crying the tears of a sweet release months in the making. 

Carol kissed her way back up Therese’s body, tasting the saltiness of her sweat soaked skin. She laid her body on top of her, kissing her deeply. “You are so amazing,” Carol whispered. Therese found herself surprisingly turned on again tasting herself on Carol’s lips. She rolled them over quickly, straddling Carol who looked wild and lustful. She bent down, their breasts touching again, and kissed her hard. Her tongue explored every inch of Carol’s mouth. Therese needed to be inside her; to feel her hot, wet, center. She moved down to kiss her neck and that sweet spot behind her ear. Carol gasped and moaned in pleasure. Therese moved down to her breasts, sucking and massaging, and then down her stomach until she smelled the musky scent of Carol’s desire. When they had made love before, Therese had only used her fingers, guided by Carol’s own hand, but now her mouth watered. She knew what she wanted, and she was taking it.

“Jesus Christ, Therese,” a low, husky, growl escaped Carol as Therese’s tongue explored the wetness of Carol’s core. She licked slowly at first, enjoying the salty and sweet taste. She listened to the sounds emanating from her lover and used that to discover where and how much pressure to use. Carol’s hands found Therese’s head and helped guide her to the right spot and Therese started to focus all her energy there. Carol’s noises were getting louder and her hips were shaking and trembling. “More…please…more,’ Carol whined. Therese slid two fingers inside of Carol, feeling the hot, silken wetness. “Fuuuuuuuuck….” Carol cried. Therese moved her fingers in and out, slowly and steadily. "“Harder, fuck me harder,” Carol begged. Therese complied as she pushed harder and faster; her tongue circling with more and more pressure. The experience was incredibly erotic as she felt her own desire building to a head again. Carol’s hands grabbed onto the sheets, knuckles white, as she clenched and tumbled over into the abyss.

The waves passed over and Carol’s legs fell open. She exhaled loudly, still breathing hard and fast. Therese laid her head on Carol’s stomach, heady from the scent of perfume and sex surrounding her. “Come here, angel,’ Carol beckoned her up. Physically spent, they lay next to each other, staring deep into each other’s eyes. “Your eyes are like the ocean during a storm,” Therese mused. Carol stroked Therese’s cheek as tears welled up in her eyes. A look of worry crossed Therese’s face.

“No, Angel.” Carol smiled, “These are happy tears. I’ve missed you so much.” Carol pulled Therese into a tight embrace; their bodies intertwined. “I love you,” she whispered into her ear.

Therese smiled into Carol’s shoulder. “I love you, too.”

Carol pulled back and looked at Therese, placing a hand on her check. “So, do you still want to sleep in the spare bedroom?” Carol teased. Therese pushed Carol onto her back with a wicked look in her eyes, “Who said anything about sleeping.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was my first real foray into the land of writing a sex scene. Hope I did it justice.


	11. avoiding reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank all of you that have commented, encouraged me and sent Kudos. I have the rough draft of the story all finished. Will hopefully get it all typed up and posted this weekend.

Carol felt heavy; her body pleasantly sore from a night of love making. She tried to roll over and stretch but found herself trapped. Slowly opening her eyes, she saw the beautiful brunette stretched out across her body, one arm across her waist and a leg across her thighs. She flashed back to the night before and sighed contentedly. As much as Carol needed to stretch and shift her position, there was no way she was going to disturb the sleeping beauty lying on top of her. 

*BANG BANG BANG*

Therese was startled awake by the loud banging on the door, “Whaaaa?” She sat up slightly and looked around confused. 

Carol ignored the obnoxious sound, choosing to focus on the naked young woman next to her. “Good morning, angel,” she spoke softly. She moved a strand of hair out of Therese’s face. 

Therese, slowly waking up, realized where she was. She smiled at Carol, “You’re here.”

“Of course I am, darling. It’s my bed,” Carol teased, running a long finger down Therese’s arm. 

*BANG BANG BANG*

With a groan, Therese rolled off Carol and stretched. “Who could that possible be this early?”

Carol laughed, “It’s hardly early, love.” She pointed over to the clock on the nightstand that read 10:30.

“How did we sleep so late?” Therese stretched some more and went to roll out of the bed. Carol grabbed her arm and pulled her back, planting a lingering kiss on Therese’s lips. 

“Well, my beautiful girl, we were quite busy last night.” Carol ran her hand lightly up and down Therese’s back languidly. “I think we finally passed out some time after 3…after that most amazing fourth time.” She gave Therese a naughty smile. Therese felt her body respond to the touch and leaned in to kiss Carol again. 

*BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG*

"Ugh!" Carol sighed and sat up. “Will you be a dear and answer the door before Abby breaks it down. I really need to use the bathroom.” 

“How do you know it’s Abby? And I have to pee, too!” Therese whined.

“No one else would knock that obnoxiously. Race you to it?” Carol was up and out of the bed before Therese, giggling as she ran into the bathroom and closed the door. 

“Hey no fair!” Therese cried. 

“Answer the door, slowpoke!” 

Therese grabbed Carol’s robe from the floor, slid it on and made her way down the hall. *BANG BANG* She opened it before the third knock.

“Well it is about damn…Oh! Hi Therese!” Abby pushed her way into the front door. “Good to see you. Did I wake you?” She smiled and made her way into the kitchen with several small bags. 

“Uh, no…we were just…” Therese tried answering, wiping some sleep from her eyes.

“No need to explain!” Abby put a hand up, interrupting. “I know exactly what you two were up to. So,” she paused, “Does this mean everything is all good? All forgiven? Happily-ever-after?”

Before she could answer, Carol strolled into the kitchen looking refreshed and beautiful, with her pajamas back on. Therese wondered how she had managed to get ready so quickly. “Good morning, Abby!” She said happily, “What brings you around this morning?” 

Abby smiled and kissed Carol on each cheek. “I brought breakfast,” she pointed to the bags of bagels. “And Therese here was just telling me how you two worked up quite an appetite!”

Therese’s eye grew wide with embarrassment. “I didn’t say…”

Carol smacked Abby’s arm. “Leave her alone you evil woman. She has been doing an amazing job of nursing me back to health.”

“Ohhh, I’ll bet she has,” Abby said with a wink. Carol threw a dish towel from the counter, hitting Abby in the face. “Hey!”

Therese’s face was bright red now.

“I’m just teasing you, Therese.” Abby laughed. “Now who do I have to sleep with to get a cup of coffee to go with my bagel and lox?”

Therese excused herself to go freshen up, leaving the women to eat and make their coffee. She grabbed her suitcase from the unused spare bedroom. Once in the bathroom she washed her face and brushed her teeth. As she changed her clothes, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and noticed a slight red mark on her shoulder. She remembered Carol biting her at some point during one of their love making sessions. The memory sent a shudder through her and she felt her stomach flip. ‘God that woman can make me feel the most amazing things,’ she mused. The night had been incredible. At first, they were frenzied and eager in their love making, but as the night continued, they had slowed down and enjoyed every sweet sensation of being together again. Their kisses became unhurried and their touches became more and more tender. 

A loud giggle came from the kitchen, waking Therese from her memory. Her stomach growled. A bagel did sound good. 

Therese made her way back to the kitchen, but paused when she overheard their conversation.

“Of course, I am blissfully happy, Abby, but I will not push her. I have to be patient, I owe her that and so much more,” Carol explained. 

“Just be careful, Carol. You are so fragile right now and I can’t always be there to save you.” Abby said sincerely.

Therese stood in the hallway, not wanting to interrupt. She thought to herself that Abby was right about Carol being fragile, remembering her sitting in the dark kitchen last night. That version of Carol seemed miles away from the Carol of this morning, but Therese knew that it would be too easy to send her back to the dark place. The weight of that responsibility seemed a little worrisome, especially since they had not really talked about everything yet.

“Therese?” Carol looked up from her coffee and saw her standing in the hall. “Are you alright, Angel? Come sit. Have some breakfast,” she motioned to a kitchen chair next to her. Carol fixed her a cup of coffee and placed a bagel in front of her. 

“Sorry,” Therese offered. “I didn’t want to interrupt.” 

“Nonsense,” Carol smiled. 

“So do you love birds have any plans for the day?” Abby questioned.

“I had hoped that Therese might join me for a walk, maybe some lunch or perhaps an early dinner since we are eating breakfast so late?” Carol took Therese’s hand in her own, “Well, would you?” she questioned in her usual sensual tone.

“That sounds wonderful, Carol. Of course, I do need to go home at some point.” Therese watched as Carol’s smiled fell. “I mean we both have work tomorrow,” She tried to explain. Carol tried to pull her hand away, but Therese held on and squeezed tighter. 

Abby saw the change in Carol, too and tried to help, “Well, I’m sure you can enjoy the day before that. It is a beautiful spring day, and Central Park is starting to show signs of spring. So, I’m going to head out and leave you to it!”

“You don’t need to rush off, you haven’t finished your coffee.” Carol offered.

“This is my third cup this morning. If I drink anymore, I’ll be bouncing off the walls.” Abby said her good-byes quickly, leaving Carol and Therese sitting in the kitchen. 

“Nothing like reality to wake you from a perfect dream” Carol said with an ounce of melancholy in her voice.

Desperate to lift Carol’s mood again, “Abby is right, it looks absolutely beautiful outside. Let’s go for that walk.” Therese stroked Carol’s hand, trying to encourage and cheer her. 

Carol’s mood lifted a little with the motion. “Absolutely, but I should probably get dressed first.”

“Need any help with that?” Therese looked Carol up and down. 

“You are insatiable, you wicked little thing.” Her mood was certainly lifting as she took Therese’s hand and led her to the bedroom.


	12. light and dark

After a few more hour of worshipping each other, Carol and Therese eventually made it out of the apartment. As they strolled around Central Park, it was clear that Carol was avoiding any discussion of Therese leaving that evening. Therese told Carol all about her new clerk job at the Times and Carol explained about her new position at the furniture house. By the time they made it to Scotty's, it was definitely time for dinner. 

After ordering their food and drinks, Carol lit a cigarette and leaned back in the booth. “Today has been blissful, don’t you think?” She offered Therese a cigarette, but she didn’t accept. 

“It has,” Therese agreed. “I’ve noticed you’re smoking a lot less. You didn’t have one the entire time we were at the park.”

“Am I?” Carol asked. “I haven’t really noticed. You’re smoking less, too.”

An awkward silence covered the table, as neither spoke and they just looked at each other. Finally, after an eternally long few minutes, Therese broke the quiet. “I think you only do it when you’re nervous or feeling seductive.”

Carol seemed lost for a second. “Do what?”

“Smoke. You only do it when you are nervous, angry, or…”

Humming with the thoughts of seducing Therese, “or?” she gave her a wink and that mischievous grin. 

Therese could not deny the look always had an effect on her, turning her panties into puddles, but she knew that Carol was trying to deflect from the conversation that needed to be had. “What has you so nervous?”

Carol tried to smile and put on some bravado, but it was pointless. Therese could see right through her. “Do you really have to go back to your place?” She asked timidly. “I so loved having you there with me last night and waking up next to you was simply divine.” She took another long drag of her cigarette waiting for Therese to answer. 

“I love being with you, too.” Therese answered sweetly.

Carol felt the nervous clenching in her stomach relax a little.

“But I still need time.” Therese added.

The dark clouds that formed in Carol’s eyes when her mood shifted returned and she took another long drag. 

“Don’t do that.” Therese responded quickly. 

“Do what?” Carol’s demeanor shifted to cold and distant.

Therese sighed, “That thing you do when I say something you don’t like, or when I tell you no.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Carol lied. “I mean I think it is perfectly acceptable to be upset that the person I love doesn’t want to…”

“Here are your meals, ladies,” The waiter interrupted, setting their plates of poached eggs with spinach on the table. “Do you need anything else?”

Carol smiled broadly, “No thank you, this looks heavenly.” 

As the waiter left, Therese continued the conversation with a more hushed and yet serious tone. “Carol, you said you understood.”

Sitting back again and looking down at her food, Carol let out a huff. She put out what was left of her cigarette, took a long sip of her martini and picked up her fork. “I did. I do.”

“Then why the mood shift?” Therese asked.

“I’m scared.” Carol’s voice dropped to barely audible. “What if you change your mind? What if you go home, realize this isn’t what you want or I’m not what you want?” 

Therese realized how their positions had reversed. Before they left for their trip, Therese had been the nervous one, second guessing every little move that Carol made. She had wanted so desperately for Carol to like her and she was so careful with every statement and each and every little movement. Now, their roles had changed. Carol was the terrified one. 

“I would think after last night, and again the morning,” Therese said with a smile, “you would be sure of my feelings for you.”

“I believe you when you say you love me, Therese. I just wonder if you will ever forgive me or if I even deserve to be forgiven.” A look of sadness and self-doubt crossed Carol’s face. 

Therese sat back, unsure of how to answer that. They finished the rest of their meal in silence.

_____

After walking back the apartment, Therese retrieved her suitcase and sat it by the front door. Carol stood in the living room staring out the windows, cigarette in hand. It was dark now and the city lights were bright enough to light the room. Therese needed to somehow ensure that Carol would be safe tonight and not drown in her darkness. She walked over and put her arms around Carol’s neck. She breathed in her perfume and felt her insides react. “Will you have dinner with me? After work tomorrow?” She asked.

Carol’s mood lifted again and the clouds in her eyes parted. Therese had given her something to look forward too and hope for the future. “Yes, that sounds delightful. Where shall we go?” 

“There is this wonderful little Italian place a few streets down from my apartment. Come over to mine, say around 6?” She lifted up and placed a sweet, yet passion filled kiss on Carol’s lips. Carol responded with a soft moan. Therese knew If she did not leave now, she’d never make it out the door. She broke away, albeit with great difficulty, “I love you, Carol Aird. I will see you tomorrow.” 

Carol winced at the last name but nodded with a smile. “I will see you then. Can I,” she paused and sighed, “can I call you tonight? Before bed?”

Therese nodded. “I’ll call you. My landlady gets really upset if people call after 9.” 

Carol wrote down the number for her and walked Therese to the door. “I love you, my angel…so very much.” She kissed Therese good night and let her go.


	13. The best laid plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freaking Harge.

Carol was busy most of the morning. There were orders to place, calls to make, deals to negotiate. She had barely had a second to herself to think. When she finally looked at her watch, she realized it was nearly time for lunch. She smiled, thinking of dinner tonight. Staying so busy was making the day go by faster and she could not wait to see Therese. 

The phone on her desk rang. “Flannigan’s Furniture House. This is Carol,’ she answered. 

“It’s me.” Carol’s face darkened at the sound of the gruff voice. 

“Harge.”

“Rindy has been asking to see you. Would be able to meet us for dinner? We’ll come in the city.”

Carol’s heart split in two. She could never turn down an opportunity to see Rindy, but it meant cancelling on Therese. She wondered if Therese would understand or if it be another reason to not forgive her. “I’ll have to change some things around, but of course I will meet you. Where?”

“What’s that place you love? Scott’s?” Harge offered.

“Oh no, not there.” Carol felt that was now her and Therese’s place and sacred. “Rindy likes pizza and there is a place a few blocks down from the store. Why don’t you meet me here? I get off a 5.”

“Fine,” Harge agreed and hung up the phone. 

Carol sighed and lit a cigarette. She picked the phone receiver back up and dialed the operator. “Can you connect me to the New York Times, please?”

It took a few minutes to reach the right department, but Carol was eventually able find the correct office. Therese, however, was in a meeting. The lady on the end of the line asked if Carol would like to leave a message. Carol knew she would have to be careful in her wording. 

“Please just tell her that Carol called and needs to cancel dinner plans. I will call her later this evening.” She hung up with a thank you. Suddenly, a liquid lunch sounded ideal. The rest of the day would drag. 

Therese came out of her meeting, notes in hand, ready to be typed up. Being a clerk wasn't ideal, but it gave her a foot in the door and she was able to offer her opinions at times. She dreamed of a day she'd be a New York Times photographer. She set the notes down on her desk as Dannie called from across the room. “Hey, Belivet! Wanna grab a sammie?” 

“Sure, Dannie.” Therese grabbed her purse and noticed the note on her desk. Carol was cancelling dinner. Doubts started to swirl in her head; it was happening again. Was Carol leaving her again? She had opened herself up and now was about to be crushed by this woman for a second time.

“You coming?” Dannie was suddenly right next to her and touched her arm. "You okay, Therese? You look kinda pale all of a sudden.” 

Therese steeled herself. She would not be shattered again. “I’m fine, Dannie. Just hungry, I think. Let’s go.” 

By the time she had returned from lunch, the note still sitting on her desk, Therese was a swirl of emotion. If Dannie noticed over lunch, he was kind enough to keep quiet. He’d seen her go through some dark days before but had always just been supportive, never asking too many questions. It was one of the many things she liked about him. 

Therese pushed all her feelings down and typed up her notes from the meeting, which took a while as she was a horribly slow typist. She walked them down to the photo editor’s office and came back to her desk. ‘You’re being ridiculous,’ she thought, ‘Just call her and find out what happened.’ It was 3pm, Carol would still be at work. 

“Flannigan’s Furniture House. This is Carol.” She answered, sounding all professional. 

‘Damn. Even the way she answered the phone was a turn on.’ Therese thought. “You cancelled dinner?” Therese question.

Carol lowered her voice so no one else in the office could hear her speak. “I’m so sorry, Therese. Harge called and he invited me to have dinner with him and Rindy.”

“Oh!” Therese let out a sign of relief. 

“I hate to cancel, but you know I cannot turn down a chance to see my daughter.” Carol was almost pleading. 

“I do understand, and it is fine. Do you want to have dinner tomorrow?” Therese desperately wanted to tell her how much she missed her and wanted to see her, but she was also aware of the gossipy women that sat around her. 

“Therese,” Carol paused. She wondered if she should tell her about the psychiatrist appointment or if that would be something else to scare her off. “Can we discuss that this evening? I will call you as soon as I get home from dinner.”

“Sure,” Therese could tell that Carol was hiding something. “I look forward to hearing from you this evening”, she said in a professional sounding manner.

Carol picked up on the change in tone as well. “I just can’t talk about it here…at work. Ok?” She lowered her voice to an almost inaudible whisper. “I love you. Call you tonight.” And with that she hung up the phone. 

Therese sat back in her chair at her desk. It was going to be a long afternoon.


	14. Power and Control part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again I say, freaking Harge!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working hard to try and get this finished today. Please forgive any typos and errors. I'll go back and correct them as a find them.

Carol, Harge, and Rindy were seated at a round family table in the corner of the pizza place. Carol pulled some crayons and paper out of her purse, always the prepared mother. “Can you draw me a picture, while we wait for our pizza?” She asked her daughter. To any outsider, they were the perfect, little family. 

“How are you feeling?” Harge asked politely.

“Better, stronger. It was all just so silly really.” Carol tried to make light of her trip to the hospital.

“We were worried about you, mommy,” Rindy said sweetly as she drew some flowers. 

Carol flashed a serious look at Harge, “You told her?”

“I just told her that you were sick and had to stay in the hospital.” Harge said with a smile as he patted Rindy on the back.

“I wanted to come see you, mommy, but daddy said I was too young.” Rindy complained. 

“Daddy was right, sweetheart.” Carol rubbed Rindy’s hand. "You are doing such a wonderful job." 

“But you are all better now?” the little girl questioned, concern on her sweet little face as she looked up from her drawing. 

Carol knew she needed to set her daughter's mind at ease. “I feel much better, sweetheart, better than I have felt in months.”

Harge picked up on the dig. “Did Aunt Abby come stay with you?”

“I miss Aunt Abby,” Rindy offered. 

“I know you do, my special girl. She misses you, too.” Carol looked up, needing to get a another jab in to her ex-husband. “And no, Abby didn’t stay with me. It was Therese.”

A flash of red crossed Harge’s face. “The shop girl?!?” he spat. 

“She’s a photographer and she works for the New York Times, Harge. Don’t be so classist.” Carol corrected him, feeling a sense of pride. 

If Rindy picked up on her father's anger, she ignored him. “Mommy, I remember her. She came over for Christmas. She helped me cut out paper angels and we ate cookies. She was nice.”

“I remember, sweet pea. She is very nice, indeed.” Carol knew she was getting under Harge’s skin with her little digs and it gave her a sense of power. 

Forgetting all pretense and the fact that his daughter was there, Harge responded bitterly. “I had hoped that you might come to your senses one day and realize how bad your choices have been for us, and for Rindy.”

Rindy looked up confused. 

Carol could feel the power she had slipping, “What is bad, Harge, is seeing my daughter only on occasions that suite you! What is bad is trying to be someone I am not, to please you and your mother. What is bad is not having control over my own life!” Her voiced had raised some in anger, but not enough for any of the neighboring tables to pay attention.

“Mommy, help me color this flower.” Rindy offered, hoping to take some of the venom out of the air. She did not understand everything that was happening, but she knew when her parents were fighting with each other and she did not like it. Carol picked up a red crayon and did as her daughter requested. 

Harge sighed, not wanting to upset Rindy any further. “That is beautiful, sunshine.” He looked back up at Carol and lowered his voice. “I do not want you exposing our daughter to this lifestyle you’ve chosen. She wants to see you more, Carol, but I will not allow her be around that…girl.”

Carol glared at him, seething.

“Now, after speaking with Abby, I realize you and Rindy do need some time together. So, I will allow Rindy to come to your apartment on Saturdays. Florence can bring her by in the morning and I will pick her up in the afternoon. But only if you agree that it will just be you and Rindy. No one else. What was it you said in the lawyers office? That is the deal, take it or leave it.” Harge made his power play.

"You will allow," she said through gritted teeth. Carol was cornered by his ultimatum and she knew it. “Power and control,” she murmured shaking her head. “I agree…for now.” She added. 

‘Just for now,’ she thought.

For the rest of the dinner, Carol ignored Harge and focused all of her energy on Rindy.


	15. confessions

When she returned to her apartment, Carol headed straight for the phone. She explained everything that had happened over dinner to Abby, including Harge’s ultimatum. 

“Oh Abby, what am I going to do?” She said, a tear rolling down her face.

“Well obviously, you say yes, nitwit!” Abby wasn’t quite sure why this was such a huge problem. “I mean what did Therese think?”

“I haven’t spoken with her yet.” Carol confessed. 

“Jesus Christ, Carol. Why the hell not?” Abby was getting frustrated.

“I can’t take the risk that she will see this as another reason to leave. What if I am asking too much?”

“You know, I’m not sure if you noticed, but that is not the same shy, insecure kid from Christmas. Therese is wise beyond her years and incredibly strong.” 

“I’ve notice, Abby. And that is my point. She was able to live her life just fine without me before. She could do it again.” Carol pointed out. 

“She didn’t have a choice, Carol! Therese had to pick up the pieces of her life, all by herself, after Chicago. I couldn’t help her the way I helped you, though believe me I wanted too. If you could have seen the waif of a girl I dropped off that day. I honestly don’t know how, but she picked herself up, got a new job, fixed up her apartment, and…”

“In spite of me, Abby. So, imagine having a 34-year-old woman, with an ex-husband and a child, who is clearly falling apart, like a weight around your neck. She does not NEED me. If I ask her to do this, that may be the straw that breaks it.” Carol was crying now. 

Abby gave Carol a second to pull herself together. “I’m not trying to make you feel worse, Carol. I’m trying to tell you to stop being a stoop and go talk to her. She is strong, yes, but she is still crazy about you! I don’t think there is anything that the kid…woman, sorry”, Abby corrected herself, “can’t handle.”

There was a brief silence on the phone. “I hate you when you are right.” Carol pouted.

“I’m always right. The problem is you never listen. Now, hang up the phone and call Therese. If you want her to forgive you, to trust you again, Carol, you’re going to have to trust her with all of this.”

“I love you, Abby.” Carol said, sincerely. 

“I love you, too nitwit. Good-night.” 

Carol hung up the phone and lit a cigarette. Time to call Therese. She checked the time before ringing the apartment phone. She remembered Therese saying the landlady hated people calling after 9. It was only 8:30.

“Hello?” Therese had answered after the first ring.

“Therese? Is that you? Where you waiting by the phone?” Carol asked.

“You said you were going to call and I didn’t want to disturb anyone else. How was your dinner?” She asked.

Carol let out a long sigh and took a drag on her cigarette. “Seeing Rindy was wonderful, but Harge on the other hand.”

“What happened?” Therese could tell that Carol was rattled. God, she really hated that man.

“Well, Harge has offered to let me see Rindy every Saturday for a few hours.”

“Carol, that’s wonderful! Why aren’t you happier?" Therese was confused now. Seeing Rindy every weekend should have Carol over the moon. 

Carols eyes started to well up with tears again. “Oh my angel, it is…but…” a sob escaped. 

“Are you crying? Carol?”

Carol wiped her eyes and tried to regain her composure. “Do you remember when I said Harge was all about power and control?”

“Yes.” Therese could tell she didn’t like where this was going and she could feel herself getting angrier and angrier by the second.

“There is always a price to pay, that is all.” Carol paused and wiped her face. She took another long drag and then snuffed out her cigarette. “Enough about Harge, tell me about your day, dearest. I miss you terribly!”

The topic change was jarring, but Therese didn’t want to push when Carol was already clearly upset. “I miss you, too. Can I see you tomorrow?” 

Carol’s heart nearly leapt out of her chest to hear that Therese wanted to see her. “Oh my darling, you have no idea how happy that makes me. It’s just that I have an appointment after work.” 

“What kind of appointment?” This was the first Therese had heard of this. 

“When I was in the hospital, they made me speak with a psychiatrist. We are supposed to meet again tomorrow at 5.” 

“You didn’t say anything about seeing a psychiatrist.” This was worrisome. Therese was not so upset that Carol had hidden it, but she had heard some bad stories of psychiatrists and their treatment of people like them. 

“I wasn’t sure I was going to go,” Carol said honestly. “But I’m starting to realize…”

“What?” Clear concern was rising in Therese’s voice.

“That I want to be better, for you, for Rindy, and for myself. You’ve gotten so strong, Therese. So very strong and I love you more for it. But I feel so…” Carol sighed. Therese could tell she was thinking carefully about how to phrase her thoughts. “I love you so much, and I think you deserve a stronger me.”

Therese was shocked at the honesty in Carol’s confession. But she was worried about Carol seeing someone who would make her feel bad about her sexual persuasions. “Do you think this Dr. Can help you with that without, I mean does he know about…us?” Therese found herself getting increasingly frustrated at her lack of language to describe her relationship with Carol. 

“She knows about us, Therese and she’s absolutely fine about it.”

“She?” Therese wondered if she should be jealous at all. 

“I know, hard to believe! But yes. Anyway, my appointment is tomorrow afternoon and I probably won’t get home until around 7. Would you want to come over after? Or is that too late?” Carol offered.

“I’ll come over and I’ll bring us dinner. I’ll meet you at your apartment.” There was a strangeness in Therese’s voice that Carol couldn’t quite place. A distance, maybe. But still, she was coming over and she would see her and that was all that mattered. 

“Till tomorrow then. I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” And with that Therese hung up. She walked up to her apartment and sat down. It was time to have an honest conversation with herself and what she wanted.


	16. A beautiful friendship

Therese didn’t sleep a wink and was struggling to get through her day. She had laid in bed mulling over everything that had happened the past few days. How happy she was to have Carol back, how scared she was that Carol might leave, and how worried she was that Carol was still clearly keeping things from her. When it came down to it, Therese realized that was the thing that was holding her back. She didn’t want to go back to the way things had been before, where Abby was always saving the day and she, herself, was left out in the cold. No, if they were going to do this, Carol was going to have to open up and Therese just wasn’t sure she would be able to do that.

Now there was going to be someone else for Carol to talk to, instead of her. Carol could go to Abby; Carol could go to this new therapist. Would Carol ever, finally, come to her?

“Your head is in the clouds today, Therese.” Dannie said, sliding up next to her. "Almost time to call it a day."

“I just didn’t sleep well.” Therese made an excuse for her poor work performance. 

“You know, I know you don’t talk about stuff that often, but I want you to know if you ever needed to, you know, talk. I’d listen.” Dannie offered sincerely. 

Therese pondered this for a second. “I don’t suppose you would walk me home?” she asked. 

Dannie was shocked, but agreed, happy that Therese was finally going to open up a little. 

“So what kept you up all night?” Dannie asked, even though he already had a good idea. It was clear that Therese was into that woman, from all the pictures, but that wasn’t the sort of thing you could just ask a person, though. So he had waited for Therese to bring it up. Now as they walked down the street, he hoped she might finally admit it. 

“It’s Carol. The woman in all the photographs,” Therese took a deep breath and finally said the words out loud to someone in her circle. “I’m in love with her, Dannie.”

Therese waited to see a disgusted or horrified look on Dannie’s face, but it never came. “That’s the woman that you went away with, right? Does she love you?”

There was no judgement and Therese stopped walking and turned to face Dannie. She wrapped him in a big hug. “Thank you for not hating me.”

“Why would I hate you? Just because you like women? I figure it just gives us more to talk about, Therese, because it turns out I like women, too.” They both laughed as the tension left and continued walking towards Therese’s apartment. 

Therese explained everything that had happened on their trip and after. 

“So that’s why you were so blue.” Dannie started to understand. 

“But now she’s back. She divorced that ass of a husband and she wants me to move in with her.” Therese explained, “But I’m just not sure.”

“Therese, I get that you’re afraid, but if you really love her and she really loves you, don’t you have to risk it? I mean, wouldn’t we all risk it for a shot at something like that?” Dannie searched for the perfect way to explain and thought about his favorite things, books and movies “It’s like the movies, Therese. I mean that’s what all the movies are about, you know, the good ones. Falling in love and risking it all, no matter what.”

“Yeah, I guess you are right.” Therese linked her arm in Dannie’s. She’d never felt this comfortable with a boy before. “So, tell me about that girl at the party. She seemed nice.” 

They continued to walk and talk until they got to Therese’s apartment door. “Thank you for walking me home and for, well, you know.”

Dannie looked at Therese and smiled, “Kid, this looks like the start of a beautiful friendship. Do you know how long I’ve waited to use that line!” With that she gave him a little punch on the arm. Dannie turned to walk back towards his place and Therese went inside to change. Tonight she would see Carol and one way or another, decisions would be made.


	17. Therapy part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for Carol's first therapy session. We won't solve all of her issues, but you may gain some insights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, folks! Therapy time! Several people have commented on my take on Therese being strong and Carol being the weaker one and I wanted to address this. My take on the movie is that Therese was always stronger. She followed her heart without question from the get-go. She got hurt and kept going, even though she wanted to fall apart. Carol on the other hand runs when things get hard and she always runs to Abby to fix things. Just my take. Have I mentioned that I LOVE this movie? 
> 
> Again, I am my own editor, so forgive any mistakes!

Carol sat in the waiting room, anxious, legs shaking. Was she really doing this? There was no secretary, just a few chairs in a small room and a sign that said please wait here. She was the only one there and assumed she was probably the last appointment of the day. 

“Carol?” Dr. Green opened a door and stepped into the waiting room. “Come in. Would you like some water?” She offered as she showed her to the office. 

“No, thank you.” Carol entered feeling nervous. 

The room had dark mahogany walls and green curtains. It was rather masculine, Carol mused. There was a large, beautifully ornate desk in the room. Carol thought it looked like the type of piece she would buy for the furniture house. In front of the desk there were two green-stripped, high-backed chairs.

“Please sit,” Dr. Green pointed to one of the chairs. 

“Isn’t there supposed to be a couch or something?” Carol laughed uncomfortably. 

“Only in Dr. Freud’s office.” Dr. Green smiled and sat in the chair opposite of Carol. She had a writing tablet and pen in her lap. “I’m so glad you came, Carol. Tell me, how are you feeling?”

“I’m good.” Carol said, not entirely convincing. “I mean there have been some really good things that have happened, of course, there have also been a few bad.”

“Well, let’s start with the positive! Tell me about those.”

“Therese.” Carol smiled. 

“You saw her?” 

Carol nodded, “She picked me up from the hospital on Saturday. And we had this amazing night and Sunday was divine, but…” Carol paused. 

“But?”

“She went back to her place on Sunday night and I haven’t seen her since.”

“Carol, it’s only Tuesday. Why is this a problem? I mean have you spoken with her?” Dr. Green inquired.

“Oh yes, every day. It’s just, I had asked her to move in with me, as I told you before. To live with me and to forgive me. I asked her to start a life and she is hesitant.” Carol explained. 

“Forgiveness takes time, Carol. Why the rush to live together?”

“Honestly? I just cannot stand to be apart from her. I know that sounds incredibly needy and maybe it is, but when she’s close to me, I feel more complete than I have ever been.” Carol asserted.

Dr. Green wrote down a few notes on her pad. “Do you feel that you are confusing love with lust, Carol?” She asked. 

“Don’t get me wrong, Doctor. The physical aspect of our relationship is, well amazing seems too small a word. But it is so much more than that. I wonder, is it possible to get stronger just from being around another person? I guess I just feel more like myself when we’re together, truly together.” Carol tried to explain.

“Well, tell me about that version of you, Carol. The version that is with Therese.”

“Strong, confident, beautiful,” Carol paused, “loved.”

“Those are definitely all good things. I would argue, though, that they are already there, inside of you. Maybe you only see them more clearly when you are happy?” Dr. Green questioned. 

“But I also feel weak when I am with her.” Carol added.

“Hmmmm….” Dr. Green made another note. “How so?”

Carol explained what had happened that night when Therese had gone to pick up dinner and how Therese had found her sitting in the dark. “I can’t explain what happened, really, it was just like this emptiness was surrounding me.”

“Well that is why you’re here, Carol. That darkness is what landed you in the hospital. Don’t get me wrong, love is great. But when we lose love or we think we are losing love, it can feel overwhelming. My job is to make sure that next time, you are strong enough to face it.”

“Next time? I don’t want there to be a next time. I love Therese.” Carol was insistent.

“I have no doubts that you do, Carol. But there are never any guarantees in any relationship. Life happens, and we have to survive it.”

“I can guarantee that I will do everything in my power to keep Therese happy, to make her happy!” Carol affirmed.

“Ok, and what if leaving you is what will make her happy?” Carol jolted as if she had been struck. Her eyes started to water. “I thought you were here to help me, not make me fucking miserable!”

“Hmmmm”, Dr. Green set her pad on her desk. “There seems to be a lot to unpack here. I don’t want to be cliched and say ‘tell me about your mother’ but I do feel we are going to have to delve into some family dynamics.” 

Carol was crying now. “What? What does my mother have to do with any of this?”

“You’d be surprised at how many of our relationship issues stem from problems with our parents. But, before we get into that, tell me, have your ever been in love before? Before Therese, I mean?”

“No” Carol answered, sniffling, and wiping away her tears.

Dr. Green handed her a tissue. She pulled her writing tablet back off her desk and looked through a couple of pages. “You’re 34? Married for 10 years?”

“Yes? And?” Carol questioned.

“You didn’t love him. I believe we touched on that in the hospital. So why the marriage?”

Carol sighed, remembering all the therapists Harge and the lawyers had made her see. Why were they all so nosey? “I was born to a wealthy family, and had the right pedigree for Harge’s mother, I guess. We met at a party his mother hosted. We went out a few times, because that is what we’re supposed to do when we are in our 20's, right? Find a husband? We were dating, then the war came, and he was going to be shipped off to Europe, so we married, like so many other people. He was gone for four years. I guess it is easy to be married to someone you never have to actually see. He got out eventually, more because his mother demanded it than anything else. I got pregnant soon after. Then there was Rindy, Nerinda, our daughter. I stayed for her. Then Abby happened and my axis shifted.”

“But you said you didn’t love Abby.” Dr. Green stated. 

“No, I mean, yes,” Carol got flustered.

“Take your time. There is no right or wrong answer here, Carol.” Dr. Green offered.

“I love Abby. But I wasn’t in love with Abby,” Carol explained. “We’ve discussed that already.”

“We have, what I’m trying to understand is why it ended.”

“It just happened; the way things often do. I loved being with Abby. We’ve been friends for most of our lives and she is truly my best friend. She has saved me from myself more times than I can count. In fact, she actually told me not to marry Harge, but I didn’t listen.” Carol laughed to herself. 

“Why is that funny?” the doctor asked.

“She said, just recently, that I never listen, I guess she was right. Anyway, our relationship turned physical for a time and it was good. I loved being with her, but Harge started to have suspicions and it just got too complicated. I started making excuses to not be with her. I don’t know why I lost interest, really, it just changed. And of course Harge, well the more suspicious he got, the more controlling he got. That probably had an impact as well.”

“And yet, you still didn’t leave him.” Dr. Green stated.

“No, but it was soon after that I told him I wanted a divorce. After Abby, I couldn’t be with him physically. The thought was just revolting. And he would just get angrier and more and more controlling the more I pulled away. I was suffocating. Thank God Abby stayed by my side. Even through the physical side of our relationship ended, she was still my best friend. I know it hurt her, but our friendship has always come first.”

“I’ve asked you this before, Carol, but I’m going to ask again. What makes Therese different? So far you have described an incredibly strong woman, who could survive a loveless marriage, walk away from another relationship that wasn’t meeting all of your needs, but with Therese, you say you are weak. Why?”

Carol thought about this for a few moments and smiled. “I can tell you she is beautiful, intelligent, passionate. I love talking with her, watching her, touching her and making...” Carol stopped.

“You are perfectly safe here, Carol. There are no secret recording devices and no judgements,” the doctor offered.

“Making love to her is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. It sounds so cliched to say so, but it’s like our souls touch when we are together. It’s so much more than physical.”

“Wow.” Dr. Green wrote a few more notes down. “But you didn’t answer the question, why do you feel weak?”

“Because I cannot lose this. I am so scared of losing her. It has taken me so long to find her and to get to the place where we can be together.”

“And do you not see the strength in that?” Dr. Green asked.

Carol didn’t respond, she just stared at the wall, introspective.

“So, tell me about the bad things that happened.” Dr. Green tried to bring her back to the present. 

“Well, Therese leaving to go home. But mostly, Harge. We had dinner on Monday and he brought Rindy to see me. He offered to let me see her on Saturdays.”

“I’m confused, Carol. Why is that a bad thing?”

“Because he demanded that Therese not be there when Rindy is. He used my daughter against me, again.”

“I see.” Dr. Green sat her pen down and looked at Carol intensely. “Carol, have you thought that maybe it is good that Therese not move in, then? I mean, you could still see her, and see Rindy.”

“It is not better for me and I know that is selfish.” Carol started to cry again.

“I'm sorry, how exactly is that selfish?” the doctor asked. 

“I am a bad mother for even considering it, am I not?” The tears were coming full force now. 

Dr. Green handed Carol another tissue. “Carol, wanting to be happy and taking care of yourself is not the same thing as being selfish. Tell me, right now. What do you need?”

“I need them both!” Carol cried. 

“I understand that, but what do you need more.”

“I can’t…how do I choose?”

“I’m not asking you to choose Carol, I’m asking you, right now, at this moment, what do you NEED?”

“I need Therese and I know that makes me a horrible mother.” Carol screamed and was melting down.

Dr. Green leaned forward and placed a hand on Carol’s knee to calm her down. “Breathe for me, slowly.” After a few minutes, Carol started to calm down and the tears stopped. “Carol, needing to be happy does not make you a bad mother.” The doctor flipped through her notes. “You said so yourself, where is it…here. In the lawyer’s office I believe. You said, and these are your words, ‘what good am I to her if I am living against my own grain.’ Do you still believe that?”

Carol nodded in the affirmative. 

“Carol, to be a good mother, you need to be happy. To be a good mother, you need to be strong. You said Therese makes you happy and Therese makes you strong. It seems obvious that you would need her, does it not? There is nothing bad about that.”

“But if Therese moves in…Harge will...” Carol started.

“From what you’ve told me, there are no guarantees either way with Harge. So, maybe we stop seeing this as an either or. What if Therese went to a movie when Rindy came over? Spent time with her friends? Had a day at the manicurist?”

Carol shook her head, “I could never ask her to do that.”

“Why?” Dr. Green questioned.

“I would never want Therese to think that I don’t want her there, especially after what I did to her before.”

“Ok, but before, you just left her. This would be different, would it not? You aren’t just disappearing this time. You are talking about it WITH her, getting her opinion, and her insights. Find out what she is okay with before you assume the world is ending. This is how you grow; this is how Therese learns…”

“That I trust her.” Carol interrupted, a light went off in Carol’s mind. Her expression brightened a bit. 

“Healthy relationships are just that, Carol, relationships. They are not about power, control, or running. They are sharing, being open in more ways than just physical.”

“I understand.” Carol said with a smile, her first real smile since the session started. 

“Progress!” Dr. Green raised her arms in victory. “Now…let’s talk about your mother.”

Carol busted out laughing, feeling lighter and stronger already.


	18. kisses and conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for the comments and encouragement! When I started I never imagined this would take on the life it has. I'm shooting for 20 chapters at this point, with a possible epilogue. 
> 
> Again, forgive my typos!

Chapter 18

The taxi ride home was taking forever. ‘Of course, there would be traffic’, Carol grumbled to herself. She looked at her watch, 6:30. Carol desperately wanted time to freshen up before Therese got there and she did not want Therese to be stuck waiting in the hall. Carol decided that regardless of what decisions were made tonight, Therese would at least get a key to the apartment. 

They finally pulled up to the building. Carol tossed some money at the driver and jumped out of the taxi, screaming a thank you over her shoulder. She raced through the lobby and to the elevator. She practically ran down the corridor and was grateful that Therese was not waiting. Throwing her clothes from the day onto the bedroom floor, Carol rushed to get ready. She brushed her teeth, touched up her make-up and put on some pants and a light sweater. Her stomach had butterflies at just the thought of seeing Therese. She looked over at the clock on the nightstand, 7:15. Therese was late.

By 7:30, Carol was pacing the living room. She had smoked 3 cigarettes, but thus far had avoided the liquor cabinet. She kept forcing herself to think positively and to just be patient, but patience was not her strong suit when it came to Therese. Finally, there was a soft knock on the door.

Carol rushed to the front door and threw it open. 

“I’m sorry I’m laaa…” Therese couldn’t get out her sentence before being pulled into a fiery kiss. Carol’s arms encircled her, and Therese dropped their dinner on the floor, the front door still wide open. The ding of the elevator button was enough of a reminder that they should probably take this inside. Without breaking away from the kisses that she was lavishing on Therese, Carol spun them around, closed the door, and pinned Therese up against the wall. She whispered in between kisses, “I…missed…you…so…much.” Therese could not resist and returned her kisses with fervor. 

After a few more moments of bliss, they finally came up for air. Carol rested her forehead against Therese’s. “I have needed to do that since Sunday.”

Therese looked up, eyes in a haze of arousal, “Hi,’ was all she managed to say in reply. Just then her stomach growled loudly. 

“Well someone is certainly hungry.” Carol laughed and kissed Therese, this time a quick peck on the lips. 

“For more than food.” Therese answered seductively and then looked down at the now ruined dinner on the floor. 

“What was it?” Carol asked.

“Hamburgers.”

“Oh, they might still be okay.” Carol reached down and picked up the bag. “Look! No worse for wear…just a little…flat.” The giggled and took the burgers to the kitchen.

They sat eating their dinner, smiling like lovesick school girls at each other. Carol made some small talk, not wanting to ruin the moment just yet. “Tell me about your day, dearest.”

“Oh you know, lots of standing and listening to grown men argue of which photos to use. Nothing super exciting.”

“I’m sure it beats retail at Christmas.” Carol countered.

“Anything beats that, except for when a beautiful woman walks up to your counter.” Therese beamed at her.

“Did that happen often?” Carol teased her, with a wicked little grin. 

“Oh yes, all the time!” Therese teased her right back.

“Well, Miss Belivet! You little minx! Was I just the latest on your list of conquests?” Carol said with mocked outrage.

“Yes!” Therese laughed enjoying this light moment between them. Things felt easy and playful and she loved it. “I wish we could be like this all the time.” Therese said with a happy sigh. 

Carol nodded in agreement. “Are you all finished, my love?” Carol stood and grabbed the paper wrappers to toss away. “Shall we move into the living room?”

Playtime was over. Therese sat on the sofa and watched as Carol lit a cigarette before she came to join her. 

“Why are you nervous?” Therese asked.

Carol threw her head back and laughed. “I love that you know me so well.”

“I know you are avoiding something. So, tell me about your appointment.” Therese turned serious. 

“I’m not avoiding. I have much to tell you, my angel. I just don’t seem to know where to start.” Carol ran her fingers nervously through her hair. She took a deep breath and grabbed Therese’s hand. “Let me start by saying that I love you.”

Therese was getting nervous now. Had the therapist told her to end it? That being with a woman was wrong? That Therese was too young? There were too many questions running through her mind. “I love you, too, Carol.”

“My doctor is very helpful, and I think you would like her. Although she did make me cry today, so maybe you wouldn’t?” Carol grinned but Therese had a worried look on her face. 

“I realized something very important today in regards to you…to us…”

“Oh?” Therese felt like she couldn’t breath as her heart dropped to her stomach. 

“I realized that I have been keeping you at a distance.”

Now Therese was confused. She cocked her head to the side, “I don’t understand.”

“I mean, obviously I’m not talking physically. I just mean that despite this incredible love I feel for you, I’ve been so afraid of losing you that I’ve been holding back parts of myself.”

Therese did not say anything, but she nodded to let Carol know she was listening. 

“I still want you to move in with me, Therese. I want to build a life with you.”

“Carol…” Therese tried to interrupt.

“No, let me finish, please. I know you still need time to think and I will give you all the time you need, but before you make your decision I have to tell you what happened over dinner with Harge.” Carol took another long drag of her cigarette. “Harge has agreed to let me see Rindy on Saturdays for a few hours.”

“Carol that is wonderful! Wait…Why aren’t you happier?” Therese started to get excited but was confused by Carols’ lack of enthusiasm.

“Because he has a condition, Therese. He said I could see her on Saturdays, so long as you were not here.” Carol’s voiced dropped and she turned her face away, unable to look Therese in the eye, yet still holding her hand.

Therese didn’t reply for a long time. When Carol turned back, Therese was staring at the ground, tears were rolling down her face. 

“Oh my love,” Carol cupped her face and wiped the tears with her thumbs. “Do not shed any tears because of that bastard!” Carol demanded. “Just tell me what you are thinking, please, because I cannot do this without you.”

“I don’t know, Carol. I mean...what do you want to do? Do you NOT want me to move in now?”

“I want you here, with me!” Carol said resolutely. “That is not even an option on my end.”

“I don’t understand then. How would this work?” Therese questioned. 

“Well that is the question I am asking you. How would you feel about,” Carol sighed, unsure of how to word what she needed to say? “What if you just had Saturday’s to yourself? You could see your friends, go to movie, or…”

Therese was starting to understand and it made her angry. “So move in with you, but disappear on Saturdays.”

Carol started to cry. “It is awful, I know. I just need time...”

Therese shook her head, “time for what?”

“I am stronger when we are together!” Carol said with intensity. “If we do this, just for now, my love, I will find a way to fix it.” Carol’s voice started to shake. “I know it is terribly unfair and even asking you to do this breaks my heart. But I will do whatever you want, Therese. If you cannot; if it is too much, I will understand. I will find another way…No, WE will find another way.” Carol was still crying, but Therese could tell now there was anger in her tears. 

“Another way?” Therese asked.

“Another way to be together, to make this work. I will NOT choose. I will have both you and my daughter in my life, of that I assure you, if you want me, that is.” uncertainty trickled through Carol. 

“Yes, Carol, I want to be with you. I just cannot believe he would put you in the position of choosing.” Seeing Carol in pain increased Therese’s own anger. 

“Can’t you? Power and control, Therese. Right now, he has more, but it will not stay that way. Not for long.” Something flashed across Carol’s face, it was more intense than anger. 

Therese wondered if Carol had an actual plan brewing or if she had just reached a breaking point. She remembered Carol holding the gun at the detective and for a brief second, Therese felt sorry for Harge. She took a deep breath and sat back on the couch. She let her anger pass before she spoke. “I think…” Therese paused, “I think I need time to think about all of this, Carol.”

“Of course.” Carol looked down again. She released Therese’s hand and went to stand up, but Therese grabbed her arm and pulled her back down into a deep hug.

Therese looked over Carol's shoulder at the clock on the bookcase. It was 8:30 and they both had to work the next morning.

“I don’t suppose you could stay?” Carol asked, shyly. feeling the change in Therese's body language. “I don’t want us to end our night like this.”

“I didn’t bring anything to wear for work tomorrow.” Therese explained as she released Carol from her embrace.

Carol lowered her chin and gave Therese a sweet and yet seductive smile. “Therese, my love, do you know one of the best parts of living with another woman?”

Therese only shook her head, unsure of where Carol was going with this.

“The shared wardrobe.” Carol smirked. “I am sure we can find you something.”

“Oh Carol, your clothes are much too nice for my job.”

“Nonsense.” Carol responded. “Come on, lets go explore my closet.”

Therese sighed as Carol stood, taking her hand and pulling her up.

“You know I can’t resist you.” Therese moaned as she wrapped her arms around Carol’s waist and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. 

The cat like grin was back on Carol’s lips. “Of course, first, we have to get you out of these clothes.”

Deciding to play along, Therese pulled back. “I guess you are right.” She slowly unbuttoned her shirt, dragged it off slowly, and set it on the couch. As she turned and walked towards the bedroom, she unzipped her skirt and looked back over her shoulder at Carol, who’s mouth was now hanging open at the seductive display Therese was making. “You coming?” Therese asked with an enticing tone in her voice.

Carol’s eyes grew wide with lust and a wicked smile crossed her face. “I’m about to be!” she screamed and chased Therese down the hall.


	19. to build a life

After only a few hours of sleep, both Carol and Therese were struggling in the morning. Carol made them both coffee while Therese got ready first. She had to admit, Therese looked adorable in her pants. They were a little too big, as Carol was a size larger and a bit taller, but with a belt and a couple of safety pins, it all worked out.  
Therese packed them both a lunch while Carol took her turn getting ready. They walked out the door, giving each other a quick kiss. It would be an easy morning routine to fall in to one day, Carol hoped. 

They made plans to meet for dinner at their favorite place, as they rode the elevator down to the lobby. Carol knew they would both be too tired to cook. “So, I’ll meet you at Scotty's around 6, depending on traffic.” 

"Sounds good", Therese replied. She leaned in and whispered “I love you” in Carol’s ear before turning and walking down the street. Carol sighed contentedly before turning and walking the opposite way. 

______

The both struggled to get through their respective days. Carol made her calls and scheduled an appointment to meet with a possible manufacturer. She called Abby to meet her for lunch, but as Therese had so lovingly packed her a lunch, they agreed to meet at the park. 

Abby was thrilled that Carol was finally sounding more like herself again. “Do you see what happens when you take my advice? You are glowing!” She laughed.

“Oh Abby…I am so happy. Regardless of what happens with Harge and even if I must wait for her to move in, just being so close to her and knowing that she loves me…it is sublime.” Carol almost purred. 

Abby felt a pang of jealousy, but it passed quickly. It was hard not to feel happy for her friend. “Are you still going to see the therapist?” Abby asked. “She seems to be helping you as well.”

“I am. I see her again in a couple of weeks.” 

“Good. I have to say, Carol, she was beautiful. Let me know when you are finished getting your head fixed, because I would totally ask her out!” Abby grinned.

Carol laughed out loud. “Tell you what, when I finish, I’ll even help set you up!”

“That is a deal, my friend!”

“Abby, I have to say something serious for a second.” Carol’s mood shifted, but not in her usual dark way.

“Oh God, Carol, I cannot take any more shit from you. Whatever it is, you are on your own…or with Therese. You are her problem from now on! My hero days are over!” Abby was joking of course. They both knew that Abby would always be there for her. 

“Oh shut it. I just wanted to say thank you.”

“So we are going to get sentimental.” Abby feigned seriousness.

“Yes, for about 2 minutes. You are the best friend that anyone could ever ask for, Abby and I know being my friend is not always easy on you.”

Abby shifted, slightly uncomfortable. 

“I just want you to know that I love you and I do appreciate every time you have saved my ass or picked me up from the depths.”

Abby’s eyes started to water. “Ok, enough of that. I love you, too. But I mean it. It is you and Therese now, so promise me you will do right by her. She deserves to be happy, too, Carol.”

“I promise.” Carol nodded in agreement. 

“Give me half of your sandwich,” Abby demanded. “It looks good.” 

“No, Therese made it special for me.” Carol jerked it away and they laughed.

________

Therese was on her third cup of coffee at work. She had almost fallen asleep at her desk typing the notes from the morning meeting. Dannie made sure to walk over every now and then to make sure she was still awake. They ate lunch in the breakroom together as Therese filled him in on everything that had happened the night before. 

“That ex of hers is a real piece of work. You say the word, Therese and I’ll get a group of guys together to deal with him.” Dannie said, trying to sound like a tough guy.

“You sound like a movie mobster, Dannie.” Therese laughed. 

“So what are you going to do?” He asked.

“Well, Are you up for keeping me company some Saturdays?” She asked.

“I’m always game for a movie!” Dannie smiled. 

_______

When Therese walked into the restaurant, she was shocked to see Carol sitting there, martinis at the ready. “You’re early!” She smiled at seeing her lover.

“I am! How was your day dearest?” Carol asked as she slid a drink over to Therese. “I hope you don’t mind but I already ordered for us.”

“That is fine.” Therese answered. “Work was fine. I was really tired today for some reason.” She gave Carol a sly grin. 

“Can’t imagine why!” Carol returned the smile.

Their food arrived and they ate in comfortable silence. 

After dinner they hailed a taxi to Therese’s apartment. They sat in silence in the cab, never wanting to garner public attention.

Once they got inside, Carol sat on the small sofa. “You’ve been quiet this evening, love,” she noted.

“I know, I’m just thinking. Do you want a drink?” Therese replied.

“Whatever you are having is fine. Dare I ask?” 

“Oh you know…you…me…us…this…Rindy,” She answered as she fixed both of them a beer.

“I see,” Carol said. “And what thoughts are you having about all of us? Have you come to a decision?” She took the beer and took a long drink. 

“I think so.” Therese said quietly looking down.

Carol sighed and tried to steel herself. She lit a cigarette, her nerves showing through. “Whatever it is, Therese, my feelings for you will not change.” 

“I love you, Carol, and this week has been amazing and confusing and even a little terrifying?” Therese said honestly, taking a drink of her own.

“I scared you?” Carol questioned. She took a long drag, trying to calm her nerves. 

“My feelings scare me.” Therese said as she sat next to Carol on the couch and snuggled close. 

Carol put out what was left of her cigarette and turned to Therese. She leaned in to place a light kiss on her forehead. “Just talk to me, angel.”

“I’m scared because I still can’t say no to you.”

“I do believe you have been saying no to me a lot this week.” Carol tried to argue.

“This thing between us, it is so powerful, overwhelming, and sometimes I just want to lose myself in you. And I can’t seem to stop myself, to say no.” Therese tried to explain.

Carol did not want to let her emotions rise to the surface, but she felt certain this was not going to go the way she had hoped. “Do you,” she sighed, “Do you want to say no to me?” fear rising in her voice. 

Therese could feel Carol tensing up next to her. “I want you Carol, more than I have ever wanted anything. I think I want you too much and I worry that it is selfish to feel this way.”

“I remember you saying something similar to this after Waterloo. Do you remember that?”

“I remember everything about Waterloo. Every. Single. Thing. I remember feeling like I had wrecked your life because I wanted you so much and I didn’t care about the consequences. But there were consequences.” Therese answered with a sadness in her voice. 

“I told you that it wasn’t your fault, Therese.” Carol placed a hand on Therese’s cheek, much like she had done in the car that afternoon. “You are the least selfish person I know, Therese. You give me everything I want; everything I need. You dropped everything in your life to go with me on that trip. You gave me your love, your body…and I took it. I have taken everything you have given me and then I…” Carol broke off for a second. She dropped her hand and looked down. “Well…I was the selfish one. I take what you give and all I seem to give you in return is pain.” She let out a heavy sigh. “Maybe I am asking you for too much.”

Therese shook her head. “That isn’t true. Yes, it hurt me when you left, but you give me so much, Carol. All of my life I felt different. I could never understand that. I mean, I should have loved Richard. He was good to me and he tried so hard.”

Carol nodded, understanding exactly what Therese meant. 

“Even Dannie made a pass at me once. We have so much in common, but I didn’t feel anything.”

Carol thought about Abby and her life with Harge. She also made a note to come back to the whole Dannie making a pass thing. 

“That day, at the toy counter, I saw you from across the room and immediately felt something. You were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.”

Carol blushed.

“And your voice, the way you walked…I had these thoughts and I didn’t understand them. I wanted to be with you, to be close to you, to watch you, to smell your perfume, and to touch you. I wanted you so completely, but you were a woman, so it was very confusing. That night, New Year's, when you kissed me and we made love for the first time, it changed my entire world, Carol. I understand now who I am and what I want.”

“I know exactly what you mean.” Carol agreed. “But nothing in all of that is selfish. This is very similar to a conversation I had with my therapist. I find that funny," Carol laughed to herself before continuing. " Therese, I cannot predict the future, but I know that I have never felt this way before. I can be selfish, I can be moody, and I cannot promise that I will never hurt you, but if you can stand me and my mood swings, then I am yours for always. I want to give you all of me, Therese. I want to have all of you.”

“Do you really?”

“Yes, my love. I want everything. A life, a love, a home, good days,” she leaned in and kissed Therese softly on the lips, “bad days,” another kiss, “rushed mornings,” another kiss, “lazy weekends in bed,” another kiss. She stopped and looked at Therese deep in the eyes. “To have and to hold, in sickness and in health.” She kissed her more deeply. “Do you want that? With me? And maybe one day Rindy?”

To hear Carol say what could easily be wedding vows to her was incredibly erotic and her entire body was reacting. “I can no longer imagine my life without you.” She answered simply and leaned forward to capture Carol’s lips in her own. 

“So, is that a yes?” Carol asked, kissing her again. 

“Yes. I will move in with you.” Therese answered, her eyes watering. She pulled Carol in for a tight embrace. “I love you."

“My angel…flung out of space. I love you, too.” Carol added. 

“Carol?” Therese whispered in her ear, sending a shudder down her spine, and causing a pool of heat in her panties.

“Yes?” She whispered back, her voice dropping an octave, sultry and satiny smooth.

“Take me to bed.”

"Well," Carol stood taking Therese's hand and pulling her up from the couch, "That's that."


	20. Because I love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really sure where this chapter came from, but here it is! Looks like I'll be at 21, instead of 20! 
> 
> Thank you all for the encouragement and kudos. 
> 
> As always, sorry for the typos, etc.

It was Saturday. 

Therese woke up and reached out for Carol but found herself alone in the bed. “Carol?” She sat up groggily. 

“I’m here, love.” Carol said sitting at her vanity. She was already doing her make-up, a cigarette lit next to her. 

“You’re up early.” Therese stretched her naked body and rolled over to face her. 

Carol watched her in the mirror and felt her heart skip at the vision of the brunette in the reflection. “You are so beautiful.”

Therese blushed, suddenly shy, and pulled the sheet up over her body.

“Don’t you dare!” Carol turned and stared her down. “I get to look at you as much as I want and believe me,” she looked her up and down seductively, “I want.” 

Therese smiled and lowered the sheet. “I don’t suppose I could convince you to come give me a proper good morning?”

“Oh, you most certainly can.” Carol got up and walked over to sit on the bed next to Therese. She leaned down and placed a kiss on each breast and then on her stomach, before moving back up to her lips. “Good morning, my devious little angel.” 

“You are such a tease,” Therese whined. 

“Looks who’s talking.” Carol winked at her. “Now, you have a very busy day ahead of you, my love. And I have to finish getting ready for Rindy’s visit.”

“Have I mentioned that I hate packing?” Therese fell back on the bed. 

“Several times, but it is a necessary part of the process. Unless you just want to leave all of your stuff behind and walk around naked all the time. I would not complain.” Carol gave her a broad, wicked, grin. 

Therese giggled and rolled out of bed and put on a robe. “Is there coffee?”

“Of course.” Carol smacked Therese on the butt. “Be out in a minute.”

Therese was sitting at the kitchen table enjoying her coffee and a piece of toast when Carol came walking in, looking absolutely ravishing. She eyed her up and down, enjoying the beauty before her. “What do you have planned for you and Rindy today?”

“I’m so nervous!” Carol confessed. “I thought I would let her decide.” Carol sat down at the table opposite of Therese, stealing a bite of her toast. 

“What time are they supposed to be here?” Therese asked. 

“Florence is supposed to bring her at 10.” Carol answered.

“Carol, it’s only 8.” Therese rolled her eyes. “ We could have slept in.” She poked out her lip in a little pout.

“I know dearest, but I was just so nervous, and you were sleeping so soundly, I didn’t want to wake you.”

“I wish you would have. I could have helped to distract you and calmed your nerves.” Therese said still pouting. 

“You are insatiable,” Carol laughed. “oh, I do love you. Next time, I promise to wake you up.”

“You better.” Therese smiled. “I need to go get ready. Dannie is meeting me at my apartment later this morning to help me pack.”

“Would that be the same Dannie that made a pass at you?” Carol gave her a sideways glance.

“That would be the one!” Therese laughed, playing off her jealousy. 

“Remind me to speak with him about that later.”

Therese stood and came to sit in Carol’s lap. She kissed her slowly, making sure not to mess up her lipstick. “I love you. Promise me, you will relax and just enjoy your time with Rindy.”

“I promise.” Carol gave her another quick peck. “Go get ready, you vixen.”

\--------

Therese sat in the middle of her apartment, surrounded by boxes. Thankfully, they didn’t have to move much in the way of furniture as it was a furnished apartment. It was mostly books, clothes, and photography equipment that needed to be packed. Still, going through everything was going to take most of the day. She was grateful for the distraction though. Packing kept her mind from wandering to Carol and Rindy every five minutes. 

“Are you taking all these books?” Dannie called from the bedroom. 

“Yes!” Therese answered back.

“Jeez.” She could here him grumble.

“I’ll take you for a beer later, as a thank you!” She hollered.

“I want beer and a pizza for all these books!” he demanded.

“You got it.” Therese laughed and shuffled through some pictures. She put them all in an envelope and placed them in the box, making a mental note to buy a few frames. There were a few she wanted to hang in the apartment. 

\--------

“Nerinda Aird! Slow down!” Carol called as the spritely child took off running! 

“Mommy! I see the fountain with the angel! It’s my favorite.” Rindy called over her shoulder. 

“I love that one as well.” Carol agreed as she caught up with her daughter and took her hand. 

“Do you remember those angels we made at Christmas?” Rindy asked.

“I do.” Carol smiled at the memory of Therese and decorating for Christmas. 

“I hid them in my room so they didn’t get put away with the other Christmas stuff. I hid them in my books.” Rindy giggled.

“Oh you did, did you? Why did you hide them?” Carol was intrigued.

“I didn’t want them to get messed up. Angels are my favorite. They are beautiful, just like you, mommy.”

Carol scooped up Rindy is a big hug and twirled her around. “I love angels, too, my sweet pea, and you are my littlest angel!”

“Mommy, I need to ask you a question.” The four-year-old in her arms was suddenly looking very serious. 

“Alright, shall we sit by the fountain?” Carol suggested and Rindy nodded in agreement. Carol walked them over to a bench facing the fountain. “Now, what would you like to talk about.”

Rindy swung her legs off the edge of the bench and looked up at her mother. “I miss you, mommy.”

“I miss you too.” A wave of sadness washed through Carol. 

“Why did you leave?” Rindy asked.

Carol was shocked by the question and for a moment she was speechless. How do you explain divorce for to a child? “Well, your father and I, we…well, what did you father say?”

“Daddy said you didn’t love him anymore and wanted to go away.”

“Oh, my sweet girl.” Carol kissed her on the head. “I would never want to be away from you. Your father and I just couldn’t live together anymore. So, I moved to the city.”

“Can I come live with you?” Rindy asked sweetly.

Carol’s face lit up! “I would love that, and I know this is terribly hard to understand, by it isn’t up to me.” She thought for a moment how best to explain the current situation, without saying anything that would confuse the child anymore. “You see, sweet pea, there are people who don’t like mommy’s friends and they think you should not be around them.”

“That is silly. We should be friends with everyone, mommy.”

“I agree.” Carol gave her daughter a squeeze. “I just want you to know that you can come and see me any time you want. I will always want you with me. Do you understand?”

“Ok, well I am going to tell daddy that I want to see you all of the time because I love you, mommy.”

“I love you, too, sweet pea. Now, let’s go get some ice cream!”

“Yaaay!”

\---------

Harge was 15 minutes early to pick up his daughter. “Hello, sunshine! Did you have a fun time with mommy?”

“We went to the park and the playground and I got some ice cream!” Rindy said excitedly as Carol went to sit on the sofa, choosing to ignore her ex-husband. 

“And Mommy said I can come see her whenever I want!”

Harge shot Carol an angry look, but Carol just smirked. “Did you want me to lie to her, Harge? My daughter is welcome here any time.”

Harge looked around the apartment. 

“I know what you are looking for, Harge.” Carol sighed, rolling her eyes. “Therese is not here," she paused before adding, "but she is moving in tomorrow.”

Carol watched as Harge’s face turned bright red. “You know the rules, Carol. When Rindy is here, no one else.” He grumbled. 

“Daddy, mommy’s friends are nice. You should like them, too.” 

“I will try, Rindy. Now are you ready to go? We are going to grandmother's for dinner.”

'Of course you are,' Carol thought. "Come give mommy a kiss goodbye." She looked over at her daughter. 

Rindy ran across the room and jumped in her mother’s lap. “I will see you soon, mommy! I love you!”

“I love you, too baby girl.” She hugged her and gave her a big kiss on the forehead. “Be a good girl.”

Harge picked up his daughter and carried her out of the apartment. As soon the door closed, Carol felt the tears. The sudden emptiness and quiet was overwhelming. While she was grateful for the day, it was so painful to let her go. She lit a cigarette and waited for her other angel to return. 

\-----------  
There was laughter coming from the hallway and a loud bang. Carol walked over and opened the door to see Dannie standing over a broken box, books now spilled all over the corridor floor. Therese was laughing hysterically as she walked past with her suitcase and arms full of clothes.

“Make that two beers, Belivet!” Dannie laughed.

Carol was in no mood for their comedy show and just rolled her eyes and went back to the living room. 

Therese picked up on her dark mood immediately. “Dannie, why don’t you go down and grab the two boxes we left in the lobby. I’ll pick these up.” She suggested.

Dannie seemed confused until he saw Carol standing by the living room window, shoulders slumped, clearly upset. “Yeah, gotcha. Back in a few minutes.”

“Thank you.” Therese said as he walked away.

She left the door open, set down her clothes and suitcase and walked over beside Carol. “What happened to your promise?”

Carol shot her a look. “What promise?” She said bitterly.

“That you would relax and enjoy your time with Rindy.”

Carol spun around and went to sit on the couch. She lit a cigarette and took a long drag. She didn’t speak.

Therese chose to ignore her bad behavior for now. She walked into the hallway and started picking up the books that Dannie had dropped. She made stacks over by the bookcase in the living room as Carol continued to sit on the sofa, unmoving. 

Dannie returned after a couple of trips with the last two boxes from the day. “So what time tomorrow?” he asked, feeling the tension in the room. 

“Carol said we could use one of the trucks from the furniture store. We are supposed to pick it up around 11. Meet us at the apartment at 11:30? Is Phil still coming, too?” 

“Yeah. Ok, see you tomorrow. Bye Carol,” he called from the hallway.

Carol just waved him off, still not speaking. Therese mouthed an apology and walked Dannie to the door. Without speaking, she walked to the bathroom and turned on the water for the tub. She added some bubbles and made sure it was nice and hot. She then walked out to the living room and reached out a hand to Carol.

Carol just glared at her for a minute. She knew she was acting like a petulant child but couldn’t seem to stop. She finally took Therese’s hand, still not speaking. 

Therese walked her to the bathroom and shut the door behind them. She started removing Carol’s clothes, folding them neatly and setting them on the sink. When she was standing naked in front of her, Therese kissed her sweetly on the cheek and nodded towards the tub. “Get in.”

Carol complied. She sank into the hot water and sighed, lowering her head. She felt ashamed of herself, but did not apologize. 

Therese grabbed a washcloth and sat on the side of the tub, gently washing her lover. She washed her hair, placing sweet kisses on her head. The tension slowly washed away. 

“I don’t deserve you, Therese.” Carol finally whispered.

Therese helped her out of the tub and wrapped her in a towel. She walked her into the bedroom and sat her on the bed. Therese then removed her own clothes. “Lay down.” 

Carol complied.

Therese settled next to her on the bed and slowly started caressing her skin. She ran small circles up and down Carol’s body, lingering on each breast. She shifted to straddle her and leaned down to kiss Carol softly on the lips. She then moved to her neck, placing soft kisses down further until her mouth reached her breasts. Therese swirled her tongue around each nipple, as her hands continued to gently caress Carol’s body. 

“Oh…” Carol sighed, her arousal intensifying.

Therese continued to work her way down, kissing every inch of Carols stomach. She raked her fingernails gently down her sides. Carol opened her legs as Therese slid in between them, still working her way down. She finally placed a warm, wet kiss on Carol’s center. She kissed, licked, and sucked slowly, taking her time. 

“please…” Carol moaned. 

Therese knew what she was asking for and slowly moved two fingers inside. She moved in and out, slowly, her tongue swirling with increasing pressure. 

The heat in Carol was building, slowly escalating until everything went white. Her body tensed and trembled and she finally let out a long cry of pleasure. 

Therese then kissed her way up Carol’s body, at the same speed she went down, eventually made her way up, placing a long, deep kiss on her lips. 

Carol’s eyes watered. “My angel.” She pulled Therese down to lay on top of her. 

After a few minutes of blissful afterglow, Therese rolled over. “Are you ready to talk about it?”

Carol ran a finger down Therese’s cheek. “How do you know exactly what to do to make me feel better?”

“Because I love you.” Therese answered simply.


	21. Abby saves the day

Moving day

Therese woke again to an empty bed. She groaned in displeasure until the smell of bacon wafted through the room. Her stomach grumbled. Just then Carol walked in with a tray of coffee and a plated breakfast. 

“Good morning, my angel.” She said sweetly with a big smile on her face. 

Therese sat up and pulled the sheets up. “What’s this?”

“Breakfast in bed, of course.” Carol set the try next to Therese on the bed, careful not to spill anything. “We have a big day, and…” She paused and looked down. Apologies were never easy for her. “I wanted to say I was sorry for yesterday.”

Therese smiled and took Carol’s hand. “Thank you. This looks wonderful!” She said as they enjoyed their breakfast.

A while later, Carol and Therese walked up the flight of stairs to the old apartment. Dannie and Phil had yet to arrive. Carol looked around at all the boxes. “Well, there is more than I thought there would be. You are quite the pack rat, dearest.”

“It’s mostly books, honestly. And those boxes over there are my photo chemicals and such. The 3 in the bedroom are all clothes. And then those over there are just miscellaneous and photos.” Therese tried to justify. 

“Hmmm.” Carol placed her hands on her hips. “And where are our helpers for the day?”

Therese heard the phone ring in the apartment corridor. A few minutes later there was a knock on the door from the landlady. “Call for you, Miss Belivet.” There was an annoyed tone to her voice, but Therese figured it was because she was breaking her lease early. 

Therese ran down to answer and came back up shortly, Carol still standing, trying to form a plan. “That was Dannie. He’s running late and Phil can’t make it.”

“Oh dear.” Carol looked around at the boxes again. “You have to be out today?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, time to call some back up.” Carol walked out and down to the payphone.  
“Hello?” Abby answered.

“I need you to come save the day.” Carol smiled into the phone.


	22. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And they lived happily-ever-after.

October 24, 1953 

Carol looked at the orange gourd gutted on the kitchen table. It was quite grotesque she thought, but Rindy seemed to be enjoying herself in all the mess.

“Put the nose right there!” Rindy squealed with glee as Therese did as she asked. Seeing the two of them together, carving a pumpkin, made Carol’s heart swell. The mess was worth it. 

This had become their new normal. Rindy was now dropped off on Saturday mornings and she stayed until Sunday afternoon. Carol got to spend every weekend with her daughter AND Therese and she couldn’t be happier. 

When Harge had called three months earlier to discuss the new arrangement, Carol was flabbergasted. “Harge, I cannot ask Therese to leave our home every weekend.” She was prepared for a battle, but Harge simply acquiesced.

“I understand,” he said simply. “I’m not asking you too.”

Carol did not respond for a long time. 

“Carol? Is there a problem?” he said breaking the silence.

“I’m just shocked, Harge. Of course, I will take every second I can get with Rindy, but why the change of heart?” she questioned.

Harge sighed sounding defeated, “Things have been difficult with Rindy lately. She is acting out, having nightmares, and well quite honestly, she says she needs her mother.”

While Carol was worried about her daughter, she could not help but smile into the phone. 

Therese had been listening to Carol’s half of the conversation and looked at her with a confused expression. “What is happening?” she mouthed. 

Carol held up a finger to ask Therese to wait. “This weekend would be wonderful. See you then.” She hung up the phone ran over to Therese and started spinning her around the living room in a dance! 

“My dearest, do you remember how I told you how Harge is all about power and control?”

“Yes, but I’m still not understanding.” Therese said shaking her head.

“Well it turns out, the one with all the power over Harge is Rindy!” Carol threw her head back and laughed out loud and kissed Therese with a big smile! "We are getting her every weekend and she can sleep over on Saturday's! Isn't that wonderful?" She was so excited. 

Therese wrapped Carol in her arms. “And I don't have to leave? I get to be here every weekend?” 

“Every weekend! Oh I’m sorry,” Carol paused, “I should have asked you if you were okay with this.” A worried look crossed Carol’s face. 

“Carol, I would never keep you away from your daughter. Of course, I’m okay with it!” Therese beamed. 

“I am so happy, Therese!” She spun them around again. “I love you and I love this life and now we get our daughter!”

“Our?” Therese said shyly.

“Ours.” Carol said simply, kissing Therese. “Welcome to our life!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for taking this journey with me. I'll probably take a little break and get caught up with my life and the stack of papers I haven't been grading. I do already have some other ideas. 
> 
> Oh, and I am going to go back and edit Carol's age. Going to age her by a few years. You will see that in the therapy chapter. 
> 
> Again thank you for all of the encouragement!


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